Every once in a while a song comes out that matches where you are in your life so succinctly that you can't ignore the lyrics. This one is a perfect fit for the inspiration of this blog.
Noods, Deep And Otherwise
22 hours ago
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Husband Experience
Completely outside of my normal musings (as I seem to have lost my muse), I thought I'd go somewhere completely different today seeing as how this is the stuff that's clogging my brain these days when I'd much rather be thinking about what I'd like to do and have done to me by this gorgeous young cub who visited my place today...oh, my, he had to be about 6'4" 190 lbs...blonde hair, light eyes and didn't seem to mind having a chat with me while he waited for his friend.
He couldn't have been more than 23, 24...hmmmm. While I have these wonderful fantasies and in my mind I would offer him a tour of the building with a look that wouldn't leave him wondering what I was thinking, then when we made it downstairs where it's generally empty during the week he would push me against a wall, grab my ass, look into my eyes and tell me he'd like to know me better, much, much better, instead I let him go out the door with a "thank you, see you again sometime" salutation. Reality sucks.
Anyway, back to my off topic post -- In doing my research I have frequented quite a few escorts and am loving the "girlfriend experience" (GFE) option available to the men. I, on the other hand, want the "husband experience" (abbr. "HE").
Now, the first time I mentioned this the response was, 'why not the "boyfriend experience (BFE)?' At first I actually thought about that -- then I recalled why I wanted the HE. I want someone to fix my basement ceilings where the copper pipes leaked over the winter, for that matter fix the pipes too (they have a temp fix), then how about laying that floor tile in the spare room downstairs so I can move my bedroom down there, and heck - move my furniture to the room, not to mention my cars need to be washed, waxed and detailed inside, outside and under the hood (I love a meticulously kept car), and when he's done with all of that the yard really needs some manly attention -- chain saws, chippers, mulch, firewood, stone accents...planting bushes, etc. He could cook and clean and start my hot shower for me after I get back from the gym, drop off the kids at school and pick them up when they get out...and let's not forget the laundry. Now, as I'm thinking about this HE escort doing all these manly chores for me it's making me hot, so if he throws in a perfectly titillating orgasm or two, I might keep him a bit longer.
Or maybe I just need to find a wife -- I don't know. I'm stuck somewhere between finding a wife or becoming a hotwife. That might be fun too...
My daydreaming about this keeps getting me sidetracked. Anyway, when everything I want done is done (and it will take a while as I've spent the last year plus at work seven days a week, 12-20 hours a day -- meaning my house has been severely neglected), and I have nothing else to bitch about I'd like to get that tall, young drink of water back to my meticulously clean house to show him a great time without worrying about all those things I should be taking care of.
Wonder if this would get many responses on CraigsList? Oh, my - I wonder what it would cost?
He couldn't have been more than 23, 24...hmmmm. While I have these wonderful fantasies and in my mind I would offer him a tour of the building with a look that wouldn't leave him wondering what I was thinking, then when we made it downstairs where it's generally empty during the week he would push me against a wall, grab my ass, look into my eyes and tell me he'd like to know me better, much, much better, instead I let him go out the door with a "thank you, see you again sometime" salutation. Reality sucks.
Anyway, back to my off topic post -- In doing my research I have frequented quite a few escorts and am loving the "girlfriend experience" (GFE) option available to the men. I, on the other hand, want the "husband experience" (abbr. "HE").
Now, the first time I mentioned this the response was, 'why not the "boyfriend experience (BFE)?' At first I actually thought about that -- then I recalled why I wanted the HE. I want someone to fix my basement ceilings where the copper pipes leaked over the winter, for that matter fix the pipes too (they have a temp fix), then how about laying that floor tile in the spare room downstairs so I can move my bedroom down there, and heck - move my furniture to the room, not to mention my cars need to be washed, waxed and detailed inside, outside and under the hood (I love a meticulously kept car), and when he's done with all of that the yard really needs some manly attention -- chain saws, chippers, mulch, firewood, stone accents...planting bushes, etc. He could cook and clean and start my hot shower for me after I get back from the gym, drop off the kids at school and pick them up when they get out...and let's not forget the laundry. Now, as I'm thinking about this HE escort doing all these manly chores for me it's making me hot, so if he throws in a perfectly titillating orgasm or two, I might keep him a bit longer.
Or maybe I just need to find a wife -- I don't know. I'm stuck somewhere between finding a wife or becoming a hotwife. That might be fun too...
My daydreaming about this keeps getting me sidetracked. Anyway, when everything I want done is done (and it will take a while as I've spent the last year plus at work seven days a week, 12-20 hours a day -- meaning my house has been severely neglected), and I have nothing else to bitch about I'd like to get that tall, young drink of water back to my meticulously clean house to show him a great time without worrying about all those things I should be taking care of.
Wonder if this would get many responses on CraigsList? Oh, my - I wonder what it would cost?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Dreaming (From Him)
Hey, Gorgeous. I was thinking of you so I thought that since we have this weird connection going I would use it. You are dreaming. It is 6:40 am and you are still in bed. In your mind, slip in images of us together.
We are cruising down the road in my Camaro. I’m driving, left hand on the wheel, my right hand killing me as I can't place it on your thigh because of the 6-speed stick. I take your hand and place it on the stick and mine on top of yours weaving my fingers between yours. Down shifting to third to take the winding curves, you squeeze my hand tighter as the ass end slips just a bit…controlled, cutting the wheel with the car. The new Metallica CD is blasting through the speakers (because that is what I’m listening to now) and I ask you if my car does for you what your TransAm does?
“Not as much," you replied.
“Really? And yours isn’t modified more than the exhaust, huh? Ok, switch!”
Downshifting to second and releasing the clutch the car stops on a dime. I get out in the middle of the road and walk around the passenger side to open the door for my lady. Holding out my hand I kiss her as she comes up to level with my eyes. “Have fun, but she’s still my baby -- be careful.” You can hear the doubt in my voice and wonder if I’ve ever let anyone drive my car before.
Getting in you go very smooth almost caressing until I say, “You CAN have your fun and be careful, can’t you?” Just a bit of an antagonist.
Downshifting from second to first, power shifting off the clutch you light the tires as we are both thrown into the leather bucket seats. Wind in our hair, Metallica and vibrating exhaust in our ears, with 375 HP at the wheels, LS1 running through our spines…and let's not forget these great, long, leisurely winding roads. I have my beautiful woman; I am in heaven.
“So how does she handle? Good around the curves,” I ask with an evilly delicious grin on my face.
“You have no idea.”
“I can only imagine but she does look wonderful” I said looking at her in my driver's seat.
“We aren’t talking about the car anymore are we?” You respond with the same evil grin.
Whenever you want to pull over, you are in control, I’ll finish whatever the car started…I promise. Sweat dreams love… you should be waking right about now. Hope you get this soon.
We are cruising down the road in my Camaro. I’m driving, left hand on the wheel, my right hand killing me as I can't place it on your thigh because of the 6-speed stick. I take your hand and place it on the stick and mine on top of yours weaving my fingers between yours. Down shifting to third to take the winding curves, you squeeze my hand tighter as the ass end slips just a bit…controlled, cutting the wheel with the car. The new Metallica CD is blasting through the speakers (because that is what I’m listening to now) and I ask you if my car does for you what your TransAm does?
“Not as much," you replied.
“Really? And yours isn’t modified more than the exhaust, huh? Ok, switch!”
Downshifting to second and releasing the clutch the car stops on a dime. I get out in the middle of the road and walk around the passenger side to open the door for my lady. Holding out my hand I kiss her as she comes up to level with my eyes. “Have fun, but she’s still my baby -- be careful.” You can hear the doubt in my voice and wonder if I’ve ever let anyone drive my car before.
Getting in you go very smooth almost caressing until I say, “You CAN have your fun and be careful, can’t you?” Just a bit of an antagonist.
Downshifting from second to first, power shifting off the clutch you light the tires as we are both thrown into the leather bucket seats. Wind in our hair, Metallica and vibrating exhaust in our ears, with 375 HP at the wheels, LS1 running through our spines…and let's not forget these great, long, leisurely winding roads. I have my beautiful woman; I am in heaven.
“So how does she handle? Good around the curves,” I ask with an evilly delicious grin on my face.
“You have no idea.”
“I can only imagine but she does look wonderful” I said looking at her in my driver's seat.
“We aren’t talking about the car anymore are we?” You respond with the same evil grin.
Whenever you want to pull over, you are in control, I’ll finish whatever the car started…I promise. Sweat dreams love… you should be waking right about now. Hope you get this soon.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Stupid Dreams
I woke up at about 3 am this morning, awakened by a dream. It was so real, it was a phone call from you. You sounded so happy and vital, telling me that you had put in a request to transfer out of your unit and into another and that you had sought treatment at the medical center a few weeks ago and that things were going great for you. I was so happy that you called I closed the shop down early to head home...
On the way home there was a young guy in a truck stopped on a dangerous curve on the road home trying to kill a huge snake. I ran the guy off and told him to leave the snake alone and I would take care of it. I went to where the snake was -- he was about eight feet long, thick, brown with beige markings and he had two heads. He was docile - not aggressive at all considering someone had just been trying to kill him. My son picked him up so we could bring him home and he still made no attempt to strike out or escape.
Just when I think dreams are meaningless I get one this strange. Where's a dream reader when you need one?
On the way home there was a young guy in a truck stopped on a dangerous curve on the road home trying to kill a huge snake. I ran the guy off and told him to leave the snake alone and I would take care of it. I went to where the snake was -- he was about eight feet long, thick, brown with beige markings and he had two heads. He was docile - not aggressive at all considering someone had just been trying to kill him. My son picked him up so we could bring him home and he still made no attempt to strike out or escape.
Just when I think dreams are meaningless I get one this strange. Where's a dream reader when you need one?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Visitor
It's 8:00 pm, I'm sitting at one of the studio tables wrapping the projects from a birthday party. Insert coupon, put name on tissue paper, wrap so name shows through bag, onto the next piece...when a tall, dark haired guy with a shit eating grin is standing in my doorway. Hey there bad girl, what's happening with you these days? I forget all about the parent who is supposed to be showing up any minute now and jump out of my chair, "OMG, you're here, why didn't you tell me you were coming?" And as the words leave my mouth, I suddenly stop, remembering the emailed words, the fantasies shared - this man knows more about me than anyone. I've shared details that I wouldn't share with my therapist...in the split second these thoughts seize my brain, I receive a bear hug and a kiss on the top of my head, "I couldn't wait any longer and thought I'd just take my chances on showing up. I didn't think you'd let me come if I'd asked."
"You're probably right on that, but I'm glad to see you." I say.
"Well, show me around." you say, with the shit eating grin still on your face.
What is he up to? My nerves are so tense - I can feel them just wanting to jump out of my skin. What if one of my regulars walks in, there's no way I can hide what I feel. My face will show it all...it always does. That's why I don't lie -- God gave me the face of honesty. If you don't want the truth, please don't ask me -- ask someone else.
"Well, here's the studio. My office is back here behind that door, the clean up area is here and there's a bathroom right there. Then there's the downstairs this way.' We walk down the stairs and I show you the employee area, storage area and utility areas - not to mention the large party room with its stark white tables and black and white chairs. I was expecting you to do something down here, you'd written about it and I was just thinking, or maybe hoping...
"What's that out there" you asked, pointing to the building behind the parking area "is that yours too?"
"Yeah, that's just a storage area. I've tried renting it out, but no one seems to be interested. I store things I need to get rid of back there."
"Well, let's see it."
"Umm, sure, okay.
Unlocking the door you stop me as I try to turn on the lights. "We don't need those" you say. You put your hands on my shoulders turning me around, "let's feel our way around." You bend your head down towards mine and we kiss a deep, wet, throaty kiss. Your hands have moved from my shoulders to my hips, then around to my ass. My hands have discovered the flesh under your t-shirt and are exploring your chest and stomach, reaching cautiously to your pants. You don't stop me. My hands continue to unbutton your jeans, my lips finding their way to your ear, whispering to you that I don't want to wait any longer, I've been wet for you for months, now that you are here I don't need foreplay I need satisfaction.
I push you gently down onto a pile of boxes and pull your pants to your knees. I take my jeans and t-shirt off and throw my leg over your chest placing my wet pussy just above your mouth while my lips attach themselves to the hard throbbing cock in front of mine. I use my hand to stroke your shaft up and down, harder and harder in turn with my sucking you in and out. Licking and sucking, teasing and softly biting it only takes a few minutes for us both to cum.
I try to get up, but you won’t allow me to. You are nowhere near finished with me. You reach around your body and grab my ass, “sexy ass” you say, and pull me gently down onto your mouth again. Your tongue is darting around my clit then pushes deep inside the pink of my wet pussy. You lick my pussy from top to bottom making sure that you surprise me by slipping your tongue inside all the way, then you go back to teasing my clit. “Mmmmmmm, you taste so good baby, cum for me right now, cum all over me.” That’s all it takes, just a little enticement and I am gushing all over your face again. You lick every last drop from me and then turn me around.
You place me where you were laying and take my hand. You move my hand down between our legs placing it on your cock where I stroke back and forth slowly. As you inch your way closer to my body, I start to rub you up and down my wet pussy, rubbing your head inside to catch my moisture then continuing upwards to play with my clit, using you for my own personal, live dildo.
"You're probably right on that, but I'm glad to see you." I say.
"Well, show me around." you say, with the shit eating grin still on your face.
What is he up to? My nerves are so tense - I can feel them just wanting to jump out of my skin. What if one of my regulars walks in, there's no way I can hide what I feel. My face will show it all...it always does. That's why I don't lie -- God gave me the face of honesty. If you don't want the truth, please don't ask me -- ask someone else.
"Well, here's the studio. My office is back here behind that door, the clean up area is here and there's a bathroom right there. Then there's the downstairs this way.' We walk down the stairs and I show you the employee area, storage area and utility areas - not to mention the large party room with its stark white tables and black and white chairs. I was expecting you to do something down here, you'd written about it and I was just thinking, or maybe hoping...
"What's that out there" you asked, pointing to the building behind the parking area "is that yours too?"
"Yeah, that's just a storage area. I've tried renting it out, but no one seems to be interested. I store things I need to get rid of back there."
"Well, let's see it."
"Umm, sure, okay.
Unlocking the door you stop me as I try to turn on the lights. "We don't need those" you say. You put your hands on my shoulders turning me around, "let's feel our way around." You bend your head down towards mine and we kiss a deep, wet, throaty kiss. Your hands have moved from my shoulders to my hips, then around to my ass. My hands have discovered the flesh under your t-shirt and are exploring your chest and stomach, reaching cautiously to your pants. You don't stop me. My hands continue to unbutton your jeans, my lips finding their way to your ear, whispering to you that I don't want to wait any longer, I've been wet for you for months, now that you are here I don't need foreplay I need satisfaction.
I push you gently down onto a pile of boxes and pull your pants to your knees. I take my jeans and t-shirt off and throw my leg over your chest placing my wet pussy just above your mouth while my lips attach themselves to the hard throbbing cock in front of mine. I use my hand to stroke your shaft up and down, harder and harder in turn with my sucking you in and out. Licking and sucking, teasing and softly biting it only takes a few minutes for us both to cum.
I try to get up, but you won’t allow me to. You are nowhere near finished with me. You reach around your body and grab my ass, “sexy ass” you say, and pull me gently down onto your mouth again. Your tongue is darting around my clit then pushes deep inside the pink of my wet pussy. You lick my pussy from top to bottom making sure that you surprise me by slipping your tongue inside all the way, then you go back to teasing my clit. “Mmmmmmm, you taste so good baby, cum for me right now, cum all over me.” That’s all it takes, just a little enticement and I am gushing all over your face again. You lick every last drop from me and then turn me around.
You place me where you were laying and take my hand. You move my hand down between our legs placing it on your cock where I stroke back and forth slowly. As you inch your way closer to my body, I start to rub you up and down my wet pussy, rubbing your head inside to catch my moisture then continuing upwards to play with my clit, using you for my own personal, live dildo.
Without warning you thrust your cock inside me, you can feel my hot wetness through your body. You hear me moan and feel me shudder with you deep inside. You squeeze my knees together and wrap my arms around them; you drive your cock into me harder and faster. My moans have increased to screams, cum for me baby, please cum hard for me – I want you to come all over me. As you pull your cock from my warm, wet pussy I grab it with my hands, the moisture from us both is more than enough to keep my hands sliding up and down your hard shaft as you cum all over my stomach and chest with just a drop hitting my lips that I slowly, deliberately wait for you to see as I slide my tongue over my lips and catch your cum on the tip, taking it into my mouth to swallow.
Closure
"I love you, I truly do, but I have to focus on my kids and my career. I'm sorry I hurt you this way." he said, and then he was gone.
What had I done wrong? What could possibly had made this man of my fantasies tell me every day that he loved me and that he couldn't wait to be with me, counting down the time, making plans and then on a rainy, dreary, gloomy, cold and grey Monday tell me this. I don't think it would have hurt so much if he didn't reassure me constantly that age didn't matter, distance didn't matter, time didn't matter, all that mattered was love and that we would find a way. I don't think it would have hurt so much...but I don't know.
Before I met him I was plugging along in my life, a bump here, another there, but nothing that truly lit my life up or pained my heart. It was just life. Now, I know that I can let my guard down and feel life, but I no longer want to. It was a cruel joke to tell, a vicious game to play. I should be screaming with anger, demanding answers, so please tell me why I don't - no, can't find it in myself to scream or be angry. Oh, wait, that's right -- it was all just a fantasy. There's no one to be angry with, no one to scream at - it was a nightmare, and now that I'm awake I can't stop the tears.
They catch me off guard, the tears that is. Some mornings in the shower, sometimes in the car, sometimes when I'm sitting at my desk paying bills. It's been two months in two more days and I still have the tears.
If I knew why it happened, would they stop? A truth, a story with no holes from beginning to end - I mean, am I keeping him from taking care of his kids and career? I'm just words on the other side of the screen. I'm just a voice on the other end of the phone. I'm just me.
There's no one to talk to anymore. I'm lost without the closure. Did his reality of the age difference, the distance, the time and life's obstacles scare him away? Is he afraid of me? Was there someone else? I know, I saw it once -- it had to do with a fish, I think, something about a fish in a bed from a woman, err girl. Fidelis, maybe. But maybe that's my fault - before I fell, you know. I encouraged it, felt that someone closer to his age would be better, maybe. Someone who lived closer, lots closer. OMG, was it me?
What had I done wrong? What could possibly had made this man of my fantasies tell me every day that he loved me and that he couldn't wait to be with me, counting down the time, making plans and then on a rainy, dreary, gloomy, cold and grey Monday tell me this. I don't think it would have hurt so much if he didn't reassure me constantly that age didn't matter, distance didn't matter, time didn't matter, all that mattered was love and that we would find a way. I don't think it would have hurt so much...but I don't know.
Before I met him I was plugging along in my life, a bump here, another there, but nothing that truly lit my life up or pained my heart. It was just life. Now, I know that I can let my guard down and feel life, but I no longer want to. It was a cruel joke to tell, a vicious game to play. I should be screaming with anger, demanding answers, so please tell me why I don't - no, can't find it in myself to scream or be angry. Oh, wait, that's right -- it was all just a fantasy. There's no one to be angry with, no one to scream at - it was a nightmare, and now that I'm awake I can't stop the tears.
They catch me off guard, the tears that is. Some mornings in the shower, sometimes in the car, sometimes when I'm sitting at my desk paying bills. It's been two months in two more days and I still have the tears.
If I knew why it happened, would they stop? A truth, a story with no holes from beginning to end - I mean, am I keeping him from taking care of his kids and career? I'm just words on the other side of the screen. I'm just a voice on the other end of the phone. I'm just me.
There's no one to talk to anymore. I'm lost without the closure. Did his reality of the age difference, the distance, the time and life's obstacles scare him away? Is he afraid of me? Was there someone else? I know, I saw it once -- it had to do with a fish, I think, something about a fish in a bed from a woman, err girl. Fidelis, maybe. But maybe that's my fault - before I fell, you know. I encouraged it, felt that someone closer to his age would be better, maybe. Someone who lived closer, lots closer. OMG, was it me?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Thinking of You
Its early morning here. I'm lying in bed reading an email - not one of my coveted 'how he turns me on emails' but just a discussion, a response about life. Gradually, for no apparent reason, my breathing gets heavy, there's a throbbing ache building between my legs, an expectation of what I think I would feel if you were here even though you've never touched me. The face I see is from a photo sent online, I visualize your drowsy eyes, full lips and your nose with nostrils flared. A sand colored t-shirt is stretched across your chest, with the elastic top of your heavy ABU trousers hitting slightly below your hips. You want me - I can see it as clearly as if you had said the words.
I try to ignore my wetness by taking another drink of my coffee and thinking about the day ahead. A splash of coffee spills onto my chest. My hand follows its trail starting at my breasts, then down my stomach. My hand doesn't stop with the coffee...I'm wet and ready but there's no one here.
My hand slips under the lacy material of my thong, past the smooth crest of shaved flesh, touching my wetness. My fingers stroke back and forth, slowly up then down, sliding deep into an aching hole that I know only my imagination can satisfy, I close my eyes and visualize that you are there, it's you touching me, making my breath heavy and hot, it's you in my head and between my legs. I can't stand it anymore, my fingers move faster, circular, again and again until I can't hold in the moan. I'm pulsating and my heart is beating out of my chest as I cum, long and hard thinking of you.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Three's Never A Crowd
Finally, a vacation weekend in Atlantic City and I’m heading out with John to the clubs. I’ve been dying to go out dancing for months needing to get rid of a bit of stress, and other than fucking, it’s my favorite exercise. Wearing a short white skirt that barely covers my round, soft ass, a tight turtleneck sweater and a pair of black leather boots that go just over the knee I can feel the eyes on me as I walk into the Club, but I don’t care – all I want is to dance.
It’s a club that plays 80’s rock, a bit of rap and tracked pop – it’s a night that I’m guaranteed not to get off the dance floor. This club is a bit hipper than some of the others I’ve been to, every 20 feet or so there’s a platform with a stripper’s pole. After dancing on the floor for a few songs one of the bouncer’s picks me up and places me on the center platform. Using the pole as my new dance partner I begin gyrating around the pole, right hand sliding up and down with my hips swaying deeply to the left, then the right, bending my knees and turning my hips back and forth to the sexy rhythm of “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus and Chaka Khan …the tequila and lime has made me a bit more relaxed and I turn and put my back against the pole, sliding up and down I’ve got my hands pushing my shirt up from my stomach up to my chest, grabbing both tits and pushing them together while my tongue licks the gloss off my lips.
I forget that the crowd is there and continue dancing my sensual dance facing John and watching for his reaction. I know the reaction I’m hoping for as I can feel my pulse between my legs, the wetness of what I want to come. I can see the pleasure in his eyes. He’s watching guys half my age stop dancing with their dates to watch my platform; he can see the lust in their eyes. He’s also noticed a woman or two lick their lips, exactly what he was hoping for this evening – but will one of them want to go back to our hotel room?
I continue dancing on the platform, pole sliding between my legs now, one leg straight up, arms stretched out with my back arched, back of my head swinging towards the floor, a woman is not going to satisfy what I want tonight. Grabbing the pole up high with both hands, I pull my knees to my chest and exposing my wet, white panties to the crowd. A tall, dark haired guy in his early 20s jumps onto the platform. Holding my knees up to my chest he pushes his pelvic area into mine, swaying to the chorus
Tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me)
Tell me that you love me
Tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me)
Tell me that you like it, yeah
I can feel his hard cock through his jeans, making me even hotter and wetter. Sweat is rolling down between my breasts, down my back. The dance floor is crowded and hot. The song ends and I jump off the platform to have a drink with John. The young man follows me back my seat and John invites him to sit down and asks him what he’ll have. “The same thing the lady is having – because it must be good.” John orders a round of tequila shots, then another. John asked, “Who are you here with?”
“Oh, just a few friends, we came down from NY for the weekend to gamble and see what the ladies were up to.”
“Well, I think it’s about time we get back to our hotel room – I can see someone needs some attention that wouldn’t be legal to give her here. Would you be interested in joining us?”
“Are you serious? Damn, man – I thought you’d be mad for dancing with her, not ask me back to your place. What’s the plan?”
“We’ll let her tell us what the plan is. Let’s get one more round and then we’ll head back to the hotel, it’s just up the street. Is this okay with you sweetheart? Do you mind if we bring him back to the room?”
Rubbing John’s hard cock through his jeans, I look over at the young man and recall the bulge in his jeans from our dance. “Sure, I think he’d be perfect for what I have in mind. And don’t worry – John’s straight – you’re going to be all mine,” I said dropping my eyes to this young stud’s newly formed bulge. Covered, his cock looked thick and large, but I wouldn’t be able to know for sure until we got back to our room. I definitely intended on finding out, and finding out soon. I was so wet, all I wanted to do was go back to our room and get sucked and fucked, and this guy looked like he would willingly fill my needs.
All three of us walked back to the hotel room, John slapping my ass several times along the way, “look at that ass! Isn’t that just the most perfect ass you’ve ever seen? Don’t you just want to fuck it?” he asked our new friend.
“I’ll do anything she wants me to do with it, I’ll eat, fuck, suck, lick and kiss that ass and whatever else is close by. Your girl is hot and it would be my pleasure to give her exactly what she wants. If that’s okay with you?”
“This is her night; we had a deal and it looks like you’re guy she wants. You better rock her world.” John gave a wink to the guy to assure him we weren’t dangerous, just horny and willing to try anything to get me off like never before.
“She’s had MFM before, but she was a lot younger, drunker and doesn’t remember a lot of it. I want to make sure she knows what she’s been missing tonight. We are going to make sure she never forgets what it’s like again.”
Back at the hotel room our new friend looks around the hotel room. John turns some of the lights down and walks over to me and pulls off my turtleneck sweater showing my white lace Victoria’s Secret angel bra. It’s slightly stretchy and allows the hardness of my nipples to show through the material. Our new friend immediately comes over and pulls my tits from my bra, pinching one nipple and sucking on the other I let out a deep moan.
I push my hands into the stranger’s pants ecstatic to find that the bulge I saw earlier was exactly what I had hoped for, large, thick and harder than my favorite dildo and so hot I needed to get a good suck on that cock. Grabbing John’s cock in one hand, the stranger’s in the other I began pulling both of them to get them harder and harder, I wanted cock and I wanted it now. John pulled my skirt up over my ass and began pumping his cock into me, slowly, deliberately while I sucked on our new friend’s cock, sliding my tongue back and forth over his thickness. He was cleanly shaven making deep throating his cock easy and from the look on his face and his increasing hardness, absolutely blowing his mind.
John went over to the bed and motioned for me to lie down. He grabbed a bottle of oil and began rubbing the oil over my body, from my shoulders to my toes. Our friend held his hand out for a pour and began smoothing the oil from my wet pussy to my ass, spending a very nice amount of time fingering my ass and relaxing my anal muscles. Begging for someone to please pump me, John lay on the bed on his back and motioned for me to get on top of him facing our new friend.
John grabbed me by my ass and held me upward while he slipped his hard cock into my ass, sliding back and forth, as I leaned back our new friend, needing no instruction, began sliding his tongue across my pussy, sucking my clit in between his teeth in rhythm with John’s pumping.
As my moans increased to tiny screams John asked the stranger if he’d like to switch places, he did. My eyes widened as the strangers cock was wider and thicker than I was used to and I wasn’t into pain.
John got up and began sucking my clit, teasing and licking, he was making me forget about the pain and focused me on the pleasure I was receiving. Slowly I felt the stranger’s cock slide into my ass, he was so gentle, after he pushed himself all the way in he began slowly pumping my ass while he pulled on my nipples and kissed my neck, John continued sucking my clit until I thought I would come all over his face.
He stopped and stood up, his cock long and erect he pushed himself into my wet, pulsating pussy. Getting fucked in both holes my moans turned into uncontrollable screams, pumping I could feel my wetness as both men slid in and out of me, neither of them touching the other with only my pleasure their concern. John began biting my nipples between his teeth while one of his hands rubbed my clit. Sucking on the strangers fingers I came again and again, neither of my men coming or concerned with coming, just focusing on my pleasure. Orgasm after orgasm I have never felt pleasure as I did that night.
When I could come no more I got on all fours, taking John’s cock in my mouth and the stranger’s cock in my dripping wet pussy, I pulled at John’s cock with two circled fingers and sucked his cock deep in my throat until I felt his hot cum squirt into my mouth. As John lay spent on the bed, I turned and began sucking the stranger’s cock, licking his strange but beautiful cock in my mouth, I stroked his balls and filled my mouth with his hardness, sucking and licking until he shot his load all over my chest and face.
Satiated we fell asleep in the king sized bed only to wake a few hours later and begin where we had left off.
It’s a club that plays 80’s rock, a bit of rap and tracked pop – it’s a night that I’m guaranteed not to get off the dance floor. This club is a bit hipper than some of the others I’ve been to, every 20 feet or so there’s a platform with a stripper’s pole. After dancing on the floor for a few songs one of the bouncer’s picks me up and places me on the center platform. Using the pole as my new dance partner I begin gyrating around the pole, right hand sliding up and down with my hips swaying deeply to the left, then the right, bending my knees and turning my hips back and forth to the sexy rhythm of “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus and Chaka Khan …the tequila and lime has made me a bit more relaxed and I turn and put my back against the pole, sliding up and down I’ve got my hands pushing my shirt up from my stomach up to my chest, grabbing both tits and pushing them together while my tongue licks the gloss off my lips.
I forget that the crowd is there and continue dancing my sensual dance facing John and watching for his reaction. I know the reaction I’m hoping for as I can feel my pulse between my legs, the wetness of what I want to come. I can see the pleasure in his eyes. He’s watching guys half my age stop dancing with their dates to watch my platform; he can see the lust in their eyes. He’s also noticed a woman or two lick their lips, exactly what he was hoping for this evening – but will one of them want to go back to our hotel room?
I continue dancing on the platform, pole sliding between my legs now, one leg straight up, arms stretched out with my back arched, back of my head swinging towards the floor, a woman is not going to satisfy what I want tonight. Grabbing the pole up high with both hands, I pull my knees to my chest and exposing my wet, white panties to the crowd. A tall, dark haired guy in his early 20s jumps onto the platform. Holding my knees up to my chest he pushes his pelvic area into mine, swaying to the chorus
Tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me)
Tell me that you love me
Tell me something good (tell me, tell me, tell me)
Tell me that you like it, yeah
I can feel his hard cock through his jeans, making me even hotter and wetter. Sweat is rolling down between my breasts, down my back. The dance floor is crowded and hot. The song ends and I jump off the platform to have a drink with John. The young man follows me back my seat and John invites him to sit down and asks him what he’ll have. “The same thing the lady is having – because it must be good.” John orders a round of tequila shots, then another. John asked, “Who are you here with?”
“Oh, just a few friends, we came down from NY for the weekend to gamble and see what the ladies were up to.”
“Well, I think it’s about time we get back to our hotel room – I can see someone needs some attention that wouldn’t be legal to give her here. Would you be interested in joining us?”
“Are you serious? Damn, man – I thought you’d be mad for dancing with her, not ask me back to your place. What’s the plan?”
“We’ll let her tell us what the plan is. Let’s get one more round and then we’ll head back to the hotel, it’s just up the street. Is this okay with you sweetheart? Do you mind if we bring him back to the room?”
Rubbing John’s hard cock through his jeans, I look over at the young man and recall the bulge in his jeans from our dance. “Sure, I think he’d be perfect for what I have in mind. And don’t worry – John’s straight – you’re going to be all mine,” I said dropping my eyes to this young stud’s newly formed bulge. Covered, his cock looked thick and large, but I wouldn’t be able to know for sure until we got back to our room. I definitely intended on finding out, and finding out soon. I was so wet, all I wanted to do was go back to our room and get sucked and fucked, and this guy looked like he would willingly fill my needs.
All three of us walked back to the hotel room, John slapping my ass several times along the way, “look at that ass! Isn’t that just the most perfect ass you’ve ever seen? Don’t you just want to fuck it?” he asked our new friend.
“I’ll do anything she wants me to do with it, I’ll eat, fuck, suck, lick and kiss that ass and whatever else is close by. Your girl is hot and it would be my pleasure to give her exactly what she wants. If that’s okay with you?”
“This is her night; we had a deal and it looks like you’re guy she wants. You better rock her world.” John gave a wink to the guy to assure him we weren’t dangerous, just horny and willing to try anything to get me off like never before.
“She’s had MFM before, but she was a lot younger, drunker and doesn’t remember a lot of it. I want to make sure she knows what she’s been missing tonight. We are going to make sure she never forgets what it’s like again.”
Back at the hotel room our new friend looks around the hotel room. John turns some of the lights down and walks over to me and pulls off my turtleneck sweater showing my white lace Victoria’s Secret angel bra. It’s slightly stretchy and allows the hardness of my nipples to show through the material. Our new friend immediately comes over and pulls my tits from my bra, pinching one nipple and sucking on the other I let out a deep moan.
I push my hands into the stranger’s pants ecstatic to find that the bulge I saw earlier was exactly what I had hoped for, large, thick and harder than my favorite dildo and so hot I needed to get a good suck on that cock. Grabbing John’s cock in one hand, the stranger’s in the other I began pulling both of them to get them harder and harder, I wanted cock and I wanted it now. John pulled my skirt up over my ass and began pumping his cock into me, slowly, deliberately while I sucked on our new friend’s cock, sliding my tongue back and forth over his thickness. He was cleanly shaven making deep throating his cock easy and from the look on his face and his increasing hardness, absolutely blowing his mind.
John went over to the bed and motioned for me to lie down. He grabbed a bottle of oil and began rubbing the oil over my body, from my shoulders to my toes. Our friend held his hand out for a pour and began smoothing the oil from my wet pussy to my ass, spending a very nice amount of time fingering my ass and relaxing my anal muscles. Begging for someone to please pump me, John lay on the bed on his back and motioned for me to get on top of him facing our new friend.
John grabbed me by my ass and held me upward while he slipped his hard cock into my ass, sliding back and forth, as I leaned back our new friend, needing no instruction, began sliding his tongue across my pussy, sucking my clit in between his teeth in rhythm with John’s pumping.
As my moans increased to tiny screams John asked the stranger if he’d like to switch places, he did. My eyes widened as the strangers cock was wider and thicker than I was used to and I wasn’t into pain.
John got up and began sucking my clit, teasing and licking, he was making me forget about the pain and focused me on the pleasure I was receiving. Slowly I felt the stranger’s cock slide into my ass, he was so gentle, after he pushed himself all the way in he began slowly pumping my ass while he pulled on my nipples and kissed my neck, John continued sucking my clit until I thought I would come all over his face.
He stopped and stood up, his cock long and erect he pushed himself into my wet, pulsating pussy. Getting fucked in both holes my moans turned into uncontrollable screams, pumping I could feel my wetness as both men slid in and out of me, neither of them touching the other with only my pleasure their concern. John began biting my nipples between his teeth while one of his hands rubbed my clit. Sucking on the strangers fingers I came again and again, neither of my men coming or concerned with coming, just focusing on my pleasure. Orgasm after orgasm I have never felt pleasure as I did that night.
When I could come no more I got on all fours, taking John’s cock in my mouth and the stranger’s cock in my dripping wet pussy, I pulled at John’s cock with two circled fingers and sucked his cock deep in my throat until I felt his hot cum squirt into my mouth. As John lay spent on the bed, I turned and began sucking the stranger’s cock, licking his strange but beautiful cock in my mouth, I stroked his balls and filled my mouth with his hardness, sucking and licking until he shot his load all over my chest and face.
Satiated we fell asleep in the king sized bed only to wake a few hours later and begin where we had left off.
Waking Her His Way
I’ve had you on my mind all day and I cannot wait to tease you again. So instead of waiting for you to wake up, I decided I’m going to wake you up. I promise I’ll be gentle, I know you can be grouchy when this is done wrong…so I’m going out of my way to make sure everything is done perfectly.
You are sound asleep dreaming peacefully when your partner rolls out of bed to get ready for work. Annoyed, to say the least, you roll over and try to go back to sleep hoping to fall right back into the same dream you were just having. No luck. Your stress is building. Your mind starts to wander from your boyfriend to your business, to your house and the cats then back to your boyfriend, but makes you even more annoyed. He eventually leaves and you find yourself dozing again. You feel half asleep when you start dreaming again.
Quietly through your door walks tall, dark and handsome. He is dressed comfortably in a pair of relaxed jeans and a black Haynes cotton t-shirt. He is barefoot as he glides lightly across the room towards your bed. He reaches his arm around your neck holding you gently, being careful not to wake you, but just to hold you.
You are exhausted from the stress you have been under recently. You shift a little but don’t wake up. He places his hand on your cheek and you nuzzle your nose into his palm. Leaning over to kiss you softly he barely touches your soft lips. His hand grazes down over your cotton t-shirt, over your perfect breast, over your belly, down to the edge of your top. Lifting the seam of your shirt his fingers slide inside and upwards retracing his path in the opposite direction, your body is warm to touch, almost hot from sleeping all night long.
Your shirt lifts as he palms his way north exposing your belly. He leans down to kiss you, again softly so as to not wake you. He kisses your stomach, your belly button, he slips his fingers below the panties you are sleeping in and he kisses the soft, warm, flesh just above your pussy. He lets slip his tongue from his lips and gently, almost lovingly licks that small erogenous spot on the inside of your thigh.
You moan quietly in your sleep and he knows he must be effecting your dreams. He slides his tongue down your lips until he feels your opening yielding to him. Gliding deep inside a rush of warmth overcomes your body. You are half awakened by his tongue whipping inside you. Not sure if you are still dreaming you slide your hand down your body slowly caressing yourself. Wanting to take advantage of your alone time this morning you are pleasantly surprised that your hand is blocked by his face. “Dreams do come true,” you think to yourself, still half asleep as you place your hand on the back of his head.
Not having the energy just yet to pull him in deeper your intentions are just to feel him, every bit of him possible. Encouragement so to speak, not like he needs any. He clearly loves doing this to you….no…not to you, but for you. He looks up past your beautiful peaks to gaze into your eyes as he laps his hot tongue at your clit. Your body tenses slightly as your anticipation builds. You pull him in tightly by the back of his head and hold him in place firmly against your sweet tasting pussy.
Your other hand goes to the top of his head to tell him that he is doing perfect, don’t move, that is the spot. Your moans increase to grunts. Your breath quickens coming now in spurts. You start to scream as the tension in your body is building so high now you can't stand it any longer. Ummmm he moans as he takes lick after long slow lick. He is making love to you with his tongue.
Your breath stops, your body doesn’t allow you to breath you are twisting in pleasure. Your breath comes in screams as your climax comes in one long massive explosion. He isn’t done, he wants to make sure you know how much he loves the way you taste. He licks and sucks every drop of pussy juice he can possibly get. Drinking from your temple, worshiping you.
Your body goes limp as you collapse from pleasure. He climbs into bed with you and wraps his arms around you underneath your t-shirt. Your skin is warm to touch, almost hot from climaxing so hard. You fall asleep in his arm and immediately are caught in your original dream you were having before you were woken up the first time. He kisses your head as he nuzzles his nose into your hair savoring the fresh breeze sent of you.
(Written by Him)
You are sound asleep dreaming peacefully when your partner rolls out of bed to get ready for work. Annoyed, to say the least, you roll over and try to go back to sleep hoping to fall right back into the same dream you were just having. No luck. Your stress is building. Your mind starts to wander from your boyfriend to your business, to your house and the cats then back to your boyfriend, but makes you even more annoyed. He eventually leaves and you find yourself dozing again. You feel half asleep when you start dreaming again.
Quietly through your door walks tall, dark and handsome. He is dressed comfortably in a pair of relaxed jeans and a black Haynes cotton t-shirt. He is barefoot as he glides lightly across the room towards your bed. He reaches his arm around your neck holding you gently, being careful not to wake you, but just to hold you.
You are exhausted from the stress you have been under recently. You shift a little but don’t wake up. He places his hand on your cheek and you nuzzle your nose into his palm. Leaning over to kiss you softly he barely touches your soft lips. His hand grazes down over your cotton t-shirt, over your perfect breast, over your belly, down to the edge of your top. Lifting the seam of your shirt his fingers slide inside and upwards retracing his path in the opposite direction, your body is warm to touch, almost hot from sleeping all night long.
Your shirt lifts as he palms his way north exposing your belly. He leans down to kiss you, again softly so as to not wake you. He kisses your stomach, your belly button, he slips his fingers below the panties you are sleeping in and he kisses the soft, warm, flesh just above your pussy. He lets slip his tongue from his lips and gently, almost lovingly licks that small erogenous spot on the inside of your thigh.
You moan quietly in your sleep and he knows he must be effecting your dreams. He slides his tongue down your lips until he feels your opening yielding to him. Gliding deep inside a rush of warmth overcomes your body. You are half awakened by his tongue whipping inside you. Not sure if you are still dreaming you slide your hand down your body slowly caressing yourself. Wanting to take advantage of your alone time this morning you are pleasantly surprised that your hand is blocked by his face. “Dreams do come true,” you think to yourself, still half asleep as you place your hand on the back of his head.
Not having the energy just yet to pull him in deeper your intentions are just to feel him, every bit of him possible. Encouragement so to speak, not like he needs any. He clearly loves doing this to you….no…not to you, but for you. He looks up past your beautiful peaks to gaze into your eyes as he laps his hot tongue at your clit. Your body tenses slightly as your anticipation builds. You pull him in tightly by the back of his head and hold him in place firmly against your sweet tasting pussy.
Your other hand goes to the top of his head to tell him that he is doing perfect, don’t move, that is the spot. Your moans increase to grunts. Your breath quickens coming now in spurts. You start to scream as the tension in your body is building so high now you can't stand it any longer. Ummmm he moans as he takes lick after long slow lick. He is making love to you with his tongue.
Your breath stops, your body doesn’t allow you to breath you are twisting in pleasure. Your breath comes in screams as your climax comes in one long massive explosion. He isn’t done, he wants to make sure you know how much he loves the way you taste. He licks and sucks every drop of pussy juice he can possibly get. Drinking from your temple, worshiping you.
Your body goes limp as you collapse from pleasure. He climbs into bed with you and wraps his arms around you underneath your t-shirt. Your skin is warm to touch, almost hot from climaxing so hard. You fall asleep in his arm and immediately are caught in your original dream you were having before you were woken up the first time. He kisses your head as he nuzzles his nose into your hair savoring the fresh breeze sent of you.
(Written by Him)
Waking Him My Way
Now…I know how you would like to be awakened, but how could I do it without getting hurt – that would be my workaround…
I would have to make sure that you are just at that point where you’re not ready to open your eyes and get out of bed, but awake enough to know I’m in bed with you. In rolling over to hit the snooze button I’ve adjusted and slithered up behind you, one arm draped around your waist. It’s still a bit dark outside, an early morning storm rages outside with the rain pounding on the roof and hitting against the windows. We can hear the wind in the nearby trees, the branches slapping against the shingles.
I open my eyes and look for the time and see that we still have a little left before we ‘have’ to get out of bed. Given this, my hands travel down your belly and wrap around your nice, thick cock. Lying flaccid across your leg simply the touch of my fingers bring you to attention. Still half-asleep you roll onto your back and adjust allowing me full access. With your hands behind your head, tucked under the pillow, I decide to take the path of least resistance and begin placing soft, slow kisses down the center of your chest, onto your belly and finally a lick from your belly button down to your very impatient member.
Reaching my original destination I take a long, final lick from the base of your shaft to the tip of your head, my tongue spread wide to cover as much flesh as possible. As I reach the head I adjust to take the entire, warm package in my warm, wet mouth. Gliding my lips up and down, slowly, bringing you out of your slumber I hear you let out a slight gasp in surprised pleasure.
Knowing that you are now fully awake, I begin stroking you with my right hand while sucking you harder and faster. Sliding my mouth up and down your large cock allowing the juice from my mouth to drip down into my hand. I slide my hand in rhythm with my mouth, up and down, pulling you out of my mouth and running my tongue over you between long, wet sucks, keeping you slippery and hard with my mouth and my juices.
As I feel your body tighten I make sure I have your entire dick as deep into my throat as possible, with my lips warm against your base I look up into your eyes, my eyes smiling and waiting for your explosion.
Good morning, baby.
I would have to make sure that you are just at that point where you’re not ready to open your eyes and get out of bed, but awake enough to know I’m in bed with you. In rolling over to hit the snooze button I’ve adjusted and slithered up behind you, one arm draped around your waist. It’s still a bit dark outside, an early morning storm rages outside with the rain pounding on the roof and hitting against the windows. We can hear the wind in the nearby trees, the branches slapping against the shingles.
I open my eyes and look for the time and see that we still have a little left before we ‘have’ to get out of bed. Given this, my hands travel down your belly and wrap around your nice, thick cock. Lying flaccid across your leg simply the touch of my fingers bring you to attention. Still half-asleep you roll onto your back and adjust allowing me full access. With your hands behind your head, tucked under the pillow, I decide to take the path of least resistance and begin placing soft, slow kisses down the center of your chest, onto your belly and finally a lick from your belly button down to your very impatient member.
Reaching my original destination I take a long, final lick from the base of your shaft to the tip of your head, my tongue spread wide to cover as much flesh as possible. As I reach the head I adjust to take the entire, warm package in my warm, wet mouth. Gliding my lips up and down, slowly, bringing you out of your slumber I hear you let out a slight gasp in surprised pleasure.
Knowing that you are now fully awake, I begin stroking you with my right hand while sucking you harder and faster. Sliding my mouth up and down your large cock allowing the juice from my mouth to drip down into my hand. I slide my hand in rhythm with my mouth, up and down, pulling you out of my mouth and running my tongue over you between long, wet sucks, keeping you slippery and hard with my mouth and my juices.
As I feel your body tighten I make sure I have your entire dick as deep into my throat as possible, with my lips warm against your base I look up into your eyes, my eyes smiling and waiting for your explosion.
Good morning, baby.
Expectations
FROM: HER
Just be yourself. You are the perfect you.
You only need to work on being where your kids and job are right now. I’m a Reese’s. Sitting in the freezer just waiting for the day you open the door, unwrap the package and take a bite. I can’t make any demands on you – you have enough. I’m dessert. And for now, I’m going to sit back and enjoy the ride…I have a feeling it’s going to be a bumpy one so I don’t want to have expectations that can’t be met. If I have no expectations, everything you can do will be unexpected and appreciated. Okay…I do expect you to show up when it’s good for you…but that’s it. Okay…I expect you to be very, very good. Okay…I expect to be extremely satisfied, satiated even. Oh, and then I expect to be sore. For at least a week. But that’s all I expect. :)
FROM: HIM
I can do all those….and more! Now we are getting somewhere…I have no expectations, I expect this ride to be bumpy as well. I expect to be there, I expect to make you scream and squeal when we are alone, and I expect to make you laugh and giggle when we are not alone. I also expect to make you happy, and when you are not, I expect to comfort and console you…..I also expect to change my cell phone plan when I come home…hehe!
Just be yourself. You are the perfect you.
You only need to work on being where your kids and job are right now. I’m a Reese’s. Sitting in the freezer just waiting for the day you open the door, unwrap the package and take a bite. I can’t make any demands on you – you have enough. I’m dessert. And for now, I’m going to sit back and enjoy the ride…I have a feeling it’s going to be a bumpy one so I don’t want to have expectations that can’t be met. If I have no expectations, everything you can do will be unexpected and appreciated. Okay…I do expect you to show up when it’s good for you…but that’s it. Okay…I expect you to be very, very good. Okay…I expect to be extremely satisfied, satiated even. Oh, and then I expect to be sore. For at least a week. But that’s all I expect. :)
FROM: HIM
I can do all those….and more! Now we are getting somewhere…I have no expectations, I expect this ride to be bumpy as well. I expect to be there, I expect to make you scream and squeal when we are alone, and I expect to make you laugh and giggle when we are not alone. I also expect to make you happy, and when you are not, I expect to comfort and console you…..I also expect to change my cell phone plan when I come home…hehe!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
His Response to "If Only"
FROM: HIM
I remember you saying that when you are tired your biggest pet peeve was having a serious conversation. I’m glad you enjoyed talking with me. I just wanted to call to help you relax. My goal was to get you to fall asleep in my arms. However I’m glad for the conversation, and this email. It makes me realize that you are still insecure about things. I’d like to address these concerns. I know as much as I tell you now, it won’t help much until we see each other and I show you in person that all I tell you is what I want, but I’m still going to try (I’m a guy, that's what we do). If you have a concern in the future you don’t have to wait until you are tired to tell me. Don’t keep those insecurities tucked and tied beneath brain cells. Let them out, just like ‘when’ replaced ‘if’ I can get it so that ‘yes’ would replace ‘I’m not sure…’
I am sure of myself. I’m an egotist, as you already know. I try to keep myself in check so I don’t make you think I’m an asshole. But somehow you saw through that and found out anyway. I am sure of where I have been and the things I’ve screwed up in my life, but I try to use them to my advantage to make it better the next time. I am sure of what I want in my future.
In order:
- I want my kids,
- I want my business,
- I want to flip foreclosures, and be a GC while I do that.
- I want my business to expand to include property management.
- I want to own my own homes outside my business for personal investments.
- I want the perfect woman (I know there is no such thing, but I’m pretty laid back and some women can come really damn close),
- I want to have my family and all of us be happy,
- I want to watch my kids grow up and sit on the front porch and watch them ride their bikes in the road with their friends.
- I want my perfect woman by my side for all of this.
- I want to open all my other businesses around this timeframe.
- And then I want my flipping business to expand again so that I can start building communities at a time.
After all is said and done I want to retire from the military collecting half my pay and benefits for the rest of my life. At that point my kids will be older and almost ready for them to start taking over portions of my businesses (if that is what they truly want, they will start out working for me, but then they’ll be able to decide what they want for themselves). And I want to have enough houses so at this point I can turn around and say, “Hey gorgeous, I love you, you have been so good to me. Where do you want to live this year?” And we just go to the house in that area.
I do understand that there are small road blocks to that dream, but you’d be amazed what money can buy. Especially with my ex and her mother. I know you have kids to think of, and I won’t ever ask you otherwise. I also know you have a business as well. Now it would be easy for me to move my flipping business anywhere, but the others would be a hassle. I want to be secure enough so that when the military moves me, I just have to open a new one where ever I end up going. Sometimes that will mean selling the first one, sometimes it will mean expanding. I want to be able to provide you with that as well. I would never take care of my businesses like that and tell you let's go. You’d be my first priority on that. These aren’t dreams, these will happen eventually.
This is all I ever think of. I don’t tell myself I can’t do it, I tell myself I can do it, and better than everyone else, that is why it will come to me.
There is no way in hell I will see your world and run for the hills. It just won’t happen. I will see your world and still be afraid of showing you mine for fear of you running for the hills.
Now granted, there are some minor things that need to be overcome. If you’d like to wait until five years later and give it a shot then, or try to do the long distance thing or just decide that it isn’t going to work, that is something you will sit me down for. But I reassure you, I know this can work. I don’t want you to be nervous about me in any way.
I want you to think of me and instantly be in a better mood, I want you to think of me as yours, and I want that stupid wall to come down so you don’t have to feel alone anymore. The finer details of your world don’t scare me at all honey. I’ve lived in much worse. The details within your world only scares you. Otherwise that wall wouldn’t be there, and yes you have good reason for it. No one can blame you for that. I just want to prove that I can be the guy who takes care of you the way you should have been many years ago. Better late than never.
My world doesn’t have the ‘if only’ scenarios. My world has ‘soon’ and ‘they chose a different way, but this is what I learned from it.’ That is all there is in my life. And somehow I’m much happier because of the results.
I hope you take my hand, and the nervousness melts instantly away. I hope you look into my eyes and see the confidence I have that I can and will make you happy. I want you to lose your concerns all together. I want to tear down your wall, and I want you to fall so I can show you that I’m right there by your side to catch you and hold you and never let you go.
Now I know that when you start typing back, you will be rested…but try to answer this as if you were tired;
What are you thinking?
FROM: HER
I’m thinking I don’t want to send another long email. I’d rather be lazy in bed, getting all tied up in the sheets and blankets with you. Where are you? I could use a couple of hairy legs in here with me? And some heavy arms to hold me tightly, and a chest to rest my back against, and a nose to settle in my neck and hair…ummm, that would be so nice.
FROM: HIM
I am right here, Honey. You don’t have to send me a long email, just relax in my arms, and respond to me later.
Melt for me baby. My body feels warm against yours. My arms wrap around your shoulders securely. I am pulling you back against my body, your back resting in my chest. You’re a$$ as far back against my crotch as possible, You fold your arms across mine and your fingers intertwine with mine. You turn your head to nuzzle yourself under my chin, while a gentle summer breeze fills my nostrils. I let out a gentle moan of satisfaction while you cuddle into my body finding the warmth and comfort you have been looking for. You slowly drift asleep in my arms.
As I sit holding you, feeling you breath in tandem with me. Watching you sleep, breathing you in, I feel at peace for the first time since I can remember. I will thank you for that when you wake. I kiss your head and breath in deeply savoring you. You could sleep peacefully for hours. And when you wake up, I’ll kiss you lovingly, and I won’t let go until you ask me to.
FROM: HER
You would be so sweet. What if I don’t want to tell you my fears? Given time I can generally get over any misgivings myself, or if I really have concerns thinking them through helps me get to a decision that I can live with. Sometimes those around me have a hard time with my decisions, but I have to do what’s best for me and my family all the time. Lucky for you my family is getting older and doesn’t need me as much or for as long. My son needs me a little more than four years – I really never see him living with his dad (although I do threaten to send him when he’s slacking on his grades), and that’s it. Other than that I have my business that I could hire someone to run and just check in when needed.
Okay…I want to stay in bed and write to you, but I need to get my arse motivated, washed and moving…missing you as always,
FROM: HIM
I would hope you would trust me with your fears…I wouldn’t offer anything if you asked me not to, just to listen. It would make me feel like a king knowing that you trust me to that level. And I will always understand that your family comes first. You will never have an issue with that, remember, I have kids too.
FROM: HER
Then you should already feel like a king…since I’m sharing with you when you know I’d rather keep things to myself.
FROM: HIM
All the details about how you truly feel…I don’t think you could make me feel any better than I do. Honey you have no idea, what that email did for me. I wish I could be behind you right now holding you. I f for no other reason just to let you know that I am here for you. I’ll talk to you in about an hour. I miss you so much.
I remember you saying that when you are tired your biggest pet peeve was having a serious conversation. I’m glad you enjoyed talking with me. I just wanted to call to help you relax. My goal was to get you to fall asleep in my arms. However I’m glad for the conversation, and this email. It makes me realize that you are still insecure about things. I’d like to address these concerns. I know as much as I tell you now, it won’t help much until we see each other and I show you in person that all I tell you is what I want, but I’m still going to try (I’m a guy, that's what we do). If you have a concern in the future you don’t have to wait until you are tired to tell me. Don’t keep those insecurities tucked and tied beneath brain cells. Let them out, just like ‘when’ replaced ‘if’ I can get it so that ‘yes’ would replace ‘I’m not sure…’
I am sure of myself. I’m an egotist, as you already know. I try to keep myself in check so I don’t make you think I’m an asshole. But somehow you saw through that and found out anyway. I am sure of where I have been and the things I’ve screwed up in my life, but I try to use them to my advantage to make it better the next time. I am sure of what I want in my future.
In order:
- I want my kids,
- I want my business,
- I want to flip foreclosures, and be a GC while I do that.
- I want my business to expand to include property management.
- I want to own my own homes outside my business for personal investments.
- I want the perfect woman (I know there is no such thing, but I’m pretty laid back and some women can come really damn close),
- I want to have my family and all of us be happy,
- I want to watch my kids grow up and sit on the front porch and watch them ride their bikes in the road with their friends.
- I want my perfect woman by my side for all of this.
- I want to open all my other businesses around this timeframe.
- And then I want my flipping business to expand again so that I can start building communities at a time.
After all is said and done I want to retire from the military collecting half my pay and benefits for the rest of my life. At that point my kids will be older and almost ready for them to start taking over portions of my businesses (if that is what they truly want, they will start out working for me, but then they’ll be able to decide what they want for themselves). And I want to have enough houses so at this point I can turn around and say, “Hey gorgeous, I love you, you have been so good to me. Where do you want to live this year?” And we just go to the house in that area.
I do understand that there are small road blocks to that dream, but you’d be amazed what money can buy. Especially with my ex and her mother. I know you have kids to think of, and I won’t ever ask you otherwise. I also know you have a business as well. Now it would be easy for me to move my flipping business anywhere, but the others would be a hassle. I want to be secure enough so that when the military moves me, I just have to open a new one where ever I end up going. Sometimes that will mean selling the first one, sometimes it will mean expanding. I want to be able to provide you with that as well. I would never take care of my businesses like that and tell you let's go. You’d be my first priority on that. These aren’t dreams, these will happen eventually.
This is all I ever think of. I don’t tell myself I can’t do it, I tell myself I can do it, and better than everyone else, that is why it will come to me.
There is no way in hell I will see your world and run for the hills. It just won’t happen. I will see your world and still be afraid of showing you mine for fear of you running for the hills.
Now granted, there are some minor things that need to be overcome. If you’d like to wait until five years later and give it a shot then, or try to do the long distance thing or just decide that it isn’t going to work, that is something you will sit me down for. But I reassure you, I know this can work. I don’t want you to be nervous about me in any way.
I want you to think of me and instantly be in a better mood, I want you to think of me as yours, and I want that stupid wall to come down so you don’t have to feel alone anymore. The finer details of your world don’t scare me at all honey. I’ve lived in much worse. The details within your world only scares you. Otherwise that wall wouldn’t be there, and yes you have good reason for it. No one can blame you for that. I just want to prove that I can be the guy who takes care of you the way you should have been many years ago. Better late than never.
My world doesn’t have the ‘if only’ scenarios. My world has ‘soon’ and ‘they chose a different way, but this is what I learned from it.’ That is all there is in my life. And somehow I’m much happier because of the results.
I hope you take my hand, and the nervousness melts instantly away. I hope you look into my eyes and see the confidence I have that I can and will make you happy. I want you to lose your concerns all together. I want to tear down your wall, and I want you to fall so I can show you that I’m right there by your side to catch you and hold you and never let you go.
Now I know that when you start typing back, you will be rested…but try to answer this as if you were tired;
What are you thinking?
FROM: HER
I’m thinking I don’t want to send another long email. I’d rather be lazy in bed, getting all tied up in the sheets and blankets with you. Where are you? I could use a couple of hairy legs in here with me? And some heavy arms to hold me tightly, and a chest to rest my back against, and a nose to settle in my neck and hair…ummm, that would be so nice.
FROM: HIM
I am right here, Honey. You don’t have to send me a long email, just relax in my arms, and respond to me later.
Melt for me baby. My body feels warm against yours. My arms wrap around your shoulders securely. I am pulling you back against my body, your back resting in my chest. You’re a$$ as far back against my crotch as possible, You fold your arms across mine and your fingers intertwine with mine. You turn your head to nuzzle yourself under my chin, while a gentle summer breeze fills my nostrils. I let out a gentle moan of satisfaction while you cuddle into my body finding the warmth and comfort you have been looking for. You slowly drift asleep in my arms.
As I sit holding you, feeling you breath in tandem with me. Watching you sleep, breathing you in, I feel at peace for the first time since I can remember. I will thank you for that when you wake. I kiss your head and breath in deeply savoring you. You could sleep peacefully for hours. And when you wake up, I’ll kiss you lovingly, and I won’t let go until you ask me to.
FROM: HER
You would be so sweet. What if I don’t want to tell you my fears? Given time I can generally get over any misgivings myself, or if I really have concerns thinking them through helps me get to a decision that I can live with. Sometimes those around me have a hard time with my decisions, but I have to do what’s best for me and my family all the time. Lucky for you my family is getting older and doesn’t need me as much or for as long. My son needs me a little more than four years – I really never see him living with his dad (although I do threaten to send him when he’s slacking on his grades), and that’s it. Other than that I have my business that I could hire someone to run and just check in when needed.
Okay…I want to stay in bed and write to you, but I need to get my arse motivated, washed and moving…missing you as always,
FROM: HIM
I would hope you would trust me with your fears…I wouldn’t offer anything if you asked me not to, just to listen. It would make me feel like a king knowing that you trust me to that level. And I will always understand that your family comes first. You will never have an issue with that, remember, I have kids too.
FROM: HER
Then you should already feel like a king…since I’m sharing with you when you know I’d rather keep things to myself.
FROM: HIM
All the details about how you truly feel…I don’t think you could make me feel any better than I do. Honey you have no idea, what that email did for me. I wish I could be behind you right now holding you. I f for no other reason just to let you know that I am here for you. I’ll talk to you in about an hour. I miss you so much.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Changing the Rules
FROM: HIM
As far as my rules:
The more I talk and type with you, the more I find I like, granted I don’t know you extremely well, and I know that nothing is set in stone. But it does make me think that I would LIKE the opportunity to fall again. I know what I like, and I don’t want to be like this for years on end. And the more I like about you the more I think that you and I would be compatible…..pending this continues and neither of us is different in person.
But if you are saying that unless I change the rules then there is NO chance you’d break them unless they are changed in advance. Then that makes me consider it, but I want to be safe about it. I already sent you one semi-long email about this, but I want your opinions on the matter before we change it.
1- If the rule wasn’t there do you think it would even be possible for you to fall…. Consider your wall, the fact that you aren’t extremely comfortable with the age difference, and your lack of trust in other guys.
2- If I gave you full control over the rules and said do as you truly want, would you change that rule? Would you want me to change it, are you hoping I change it?
3- The rule is intended to protect you…not me. If I were to change it, what can I put in place to keep you safe from me. (my apathy, my assholeness, and just the sheer fact that people fuck up one way or another).
FROM: HER
Getting excited about what’s to come is not falling. You want to remove the bricks – I have lots of them. Your rules don’t’ have anything to do with the bricks, the rules are the rules are the rules. If I don’t want to be hurt by you, then I need to listen to your rules, right? If you go to all the trouble to tell me what I shouldn’t do, and then I don’t pay attention and I end up getting hurt, I would only have myself to blame – therefore, I am in control of my feelings, not you.
So, if you don’t want me to curb my feelings, then you have to change at least one rule. Then, whatever happens happens and we’ll both deal with it…you could fall, I could fall…whatever came after that we’d just have to deal with because that’s what people who care about each other do. I don’t know if those things could be overcome, but any parts that are important enough will work themselves out. It might mean that you live in Arizona and I live in Maryland for a few years, it might mean that it won’t work at all, but from here and now, anything is possible.
You need to concern yourself number one with your children – it will be difficult enough for you to get them away from mom, and there’s probably no way she’d move to be near you every time you relocate. Not that I think you would put anyone else as number one, it’s just that you need to know that I understand this and how difficult this will be when it happens. That’s the beauty of not being a young woman – I get it already. I expect you to put kids first, a young woman might not understand that she’s not first in your life.
Go ahead, be an asshole – I’ll tell you that I think you’re being one and then you can decide what to do about it. You can also tell me that I’m being a bitch and I can decide what I want to do about it. I haven’t seen you be an asshole yet either, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be one, right? Same goes for me being a bitch.
Does this clear any grey area up or does it make more grey area? And you do give me flutters – and the next six months of anticipation does too…while it terrifies me, excites me, makes me wonder about my own sanity, etc. What am I contradicting? Or is it perception?
Q1- If the rule wasn’t there do you think it would even be possible for you to fall…. Consider your wall, the fact that you aren’t extremely comfortable with the age difference, and your lack of trust in other guys.
A1 - I think it would be possible to fall again – I’m counting on falling again. I don’t want to live a life without an appendage, lol. And I really think that everyone is meant to be with someone special. I told you today, I trust everyone – until they give me a good reason not to trust them. And it usually takes more than one or two fuck ups.
Q2 - If I gave you full control over the rules and said do as you truly want, would you change that rule? Would you want me to change it, are you hoping I change it?
A2 - Yes, I would change the rule. Then again, I have so few rules I’d prefer to do away with
any that aren’t absolutely necessary so that way we don’t have to worry about breaking any…
Q3 - The rule is intended to protect you…not me. If I were to change it, what can I put in place to keep you safe from me (my apathy, my assholeness, and just the sheer fact that people fuck up one way or another).
A3 - I don’t want to be safe with you. You’ve already told me that I come first. That’s safe enough for me.
FROM: HIM
Getting excited is one thing. I’m excited about having a friend and a companion. I’m excited that there is someone to talk to and share stupid things as well as deep things with (I get depressed when I’m lonely, then depression turns to apathy)
But this isn’t excitement. Based on what I know about you (meaning that I realize anything could happen) I am beginning to think (that is crap I have been thinking it for about 2 or 3 weeks now) that it would be great falling for you. Even better would be you falling for me as well! I still want you safe. I don’t know what to do. If things go great, and I fall one day, and I say to you that I love you, then by default I have left myself vulnerable. And if the same happens in return then you have also left yourself vulnerable….I don’t want to hurt you, or break that. I don’t know if there is a way I can remove that rule and keep you safe anyway.
My kids are always #1 And you have no idea how much I appreciate your understanding this already. And not only do I understand that your sons are #1 for you, I expect that.
What do you think about all this? I will not remove that rule unless you are on board. If I do this I want to be in agreement.
I am confused about how it is possible to remove all your bricks and after that is done still have you obey that rule (assuming it is in place) You are saying that if I show you that you don’t need to barricade your heart and that it is ok to allow someone to love you and fall for them, then after all that there is no way you’d break that rule? If it were me I’d follow that rule intensely until that person removed that last brick, then I’d fall, and quickly. This is the only part of your response I do not understand.
FROM: HER
I’m saying that given the rules I don’t think you could break the bricks away. Get rid of the rules and let’s just see what happens. Either way – hell, I think it could be a great trip no matter what happens.
I’m going to elaborate more on this, but my family is here and I need to spend some time with them, but I promise to come right back to this as soon as I can. I hope you have a great night – I’ll be dreaming of you, I don’t have any choice in the matter…
FROM: HIM
I am exhausted and I need to go to bed, I will be dreaming of you as well. (Why don’t you have a choice, have I embedded myself in your head already?)
FROM: HER
Yes, I go to bed thinking about you and wake up thinking about you – why wouldn’t you find your way in between those two things? You always do – maybe not exactly how I expect you, but I feel that you are there.
Now, my family has gone home, back to the bricks – I think that’s where I left off…
I have bricks, cinderblocks, etc. I wish I didn’t have them – I think it makes me very cold hearted. It makes me so that I won’t fall in love with M. – and as nice as he is, and even though he does some things that aren’t perfect, he is and has always been nice. I have a hard time with nice – I’ve never fallen in love with nice. I am comfortable with nice, but nice doesn’t make my heart bounce, it doesn’t put any fireworks in my life – nice is just nice. I’ve tried falling for the nice guys – including M. I can’t possibly tell you exactly what M. feels for me – he won’t tell me what he feels for me and I’m no good at guessing. I do know that he likes me – some days I’m not sure why he likes me, but he does.
He has a great time annoying me – little, silly things. He does not cuddle, but he’ll adjust the headlights on my truck, he won’t hold my hand, but he’ll change the fuse so the horn works…tradeoffs. My ideal guy would do both and I wouldn’t have to ask – but at the same time, I wouldn’t expect them to know that the horn is broken unless I said something about it – perfect does not equal telepathic.
I don’t see what the bricks have to do with your rule. If you set a rule, and then you remove the bricks – aren’t you setting me up to not follow the rule? How does that make any sense at all? You want to get through to my heart, but you don’t want me to fall in love with you…talk about contradictions. Okay…how about we don’t worry about bricks or rules or contradictions. How about we keep on talking, learning about each other, keep you from being lonely, keep me horny and wait for you to come back home.
Now, granted, I plan on dying before you just by statistics alone – and if anyone should worry about how much time is left it’s me, so how about we just see where things go from here and deal with things as they happen. I’ll leave my bricks in the warehouse if you leave your rules under your bed.
Oh, and don’t worry about me no matter what happens we’ve been friends for a while and I don’t think that will change.
FROM: HIM
3- Why don’t you want to be safe with me, I don’t understand?
FROM: HER
3. I think you are too hard on yourself. So, you’ve been an asshole before, so what? If you’re going to get rid of the rule, neither of us are “safe.” But isn’t that what it’s all about – if everyone played it safe, we would live in a very boring world. Why do you think I need to be protected, kept safe, from you? Are you going to intentionally do something to hurt me? You say no, but you keep worrying about my safety? What exactly is it you are worried about doing? Hurting my feelings? They’ve been hurt before and I’ve survived…hell, M. hurt my feelings two months ago and we’re surviving. Granted, it’s not ideal, but it’s okay. Then again, it wasn’t ideal before I found out – it was just okay.
I have some hesitations...and it’s a matter of splitting fantasy from reality. I like having fantasies, but it doesn’t mean I want to carry out all of them. There are some that I can easily visualize but know that in reality they are nearly impossible to be as I visualize them…example, Ode to a Trans Am. I’ve always had a fantasy about picking up a complete stranger and screwing them for my pleasure and then leaving. For two simple reasons: one, there’s no commitment; second, I think it would blow a guys mind to have a woman do that to him.
The one that you created with the guys in the bar – I don’t think so. Twenty years ago – maybe, but there’s no way I’d do it today. All I need is one person to know that I’ve done something like this and I’d risk exposing me for a much different person than is known in my pohunk town. Now, maybe in some alternate universe many moons from here – but certainly nowhere near where I think it could ever get back to my home or my children. Now, after my kids are completely grown and on their own – I may rethink these comments and thoughts, but that’s a woman’s prerogative – to change her mind.
Now – that goes back to you, are you fantasy or reality? I hear what you are trying to say and I really believe that this online and over the phone getting to know each other is nice, but we will have to spend face time together to see how much further it can/will/could/should go. Talking to you is fun, it’s so much fun, and it’s a great way for me to spend my day, and it makes me feel great too. I know that if you were 40-50 and said and did these very same things, I would still hesitate and would still be saying the same things. There are so many obstacles from mileage, to kids, to age – so how about we just take a day at a time and see where it goes and what happens?
I hope I got everything. I need to get the shop closed and get out of here. I’ll check in tomorrow and see if this created more questions for you…I hope not, but I’m ready to answer anything you ask. I’ll be in around 1:00 tomorrow afternoon – 9pm your time? But I’m taking the laptop home tonight so I can have it in the morning – I like to spend Sunday mornings in bed with you, even if it’s just reading your emails.
FROM: HIM
Sounds good.
Thinking about it you are right that is contradictory on my part. I guess ideally I would want something like this:
I think it is sad when you say that your ex and your past has shown you how to be cold and put up a wall and not love. I want to change that. That doesn’t mean we will fall in love, that just means I want to show you that there are people out there that won’t hurt you if you fall for them. Therefore I want to remove that wall slowly. If in the process we end up falling for each other then great. My only concern is that if we fall for each other I don’t want to ever hurt you.
So you are absolutely correct. That is contradictory…
How about this, scratch the rule completely. Please be careful if we fall for each other, please let me know how you feel immediately after something turns even slightly negative…that way I can fix it.
Ok so officially that rule is gone then.
As far as my rules:
The more I talk and type with you, the more I find I like, granted I don’t know you extremely well, and I know that nothing is set in stone. But it does make me think that I would LIKE the opportunity to fall again. I know what I like, and I don’t want to be like this for years on end. And the more I like about you the more I think that you and I would be compatible…..pending this continues and neither of us is different in person.
But if you are saying that unless I change the rules then there is NO chance you’d break them unless they are changed in advance. Then that makes me consider it, but I want to be safe about it. I already sent you one semi-long email about this, but I want your opinions on the matter before we change it.
1- If the rule wasn’t there do you think it would even be possible for you to fall…. Consider your wall, the fact that you aren’t extremely comfortable with the age difference, and your lack of trust in other guys.
2- If I gave you full control over the rules and said do as you truly want, would you change that rule? Would you want me to change it, are you hoping I change it?
3- The rule is intended to protect you…not me. If I were to change it, what can I put in place to keep you safe from me. (my apathy, my assholeness, and just the sheer fact that people fuck up one way or another).
FROM: HER
Getting excited about what’s to come is not falling. You want to remove the bricks – I have lots of them. Your rules don’t’ have anything to do with the bricks, the rules are the rules are the rules. If I don’t want to be hurt by you, then I need to listen to your rules, right? If you go to all the trouble to tell me what I shouldn’t do, and then I don’t pay attention and I end up getting hurt, I would only have myself to blame – therefore, I am in control of my feelings, not you.
So, if you don’t want me to curb my feelings, then you have to change at least one rule. Then, whatever happens happens and we’ll both deal with it…you could fall, I could fall…whatever came after that we’d just have to deal with because that’s what people who care about each other do. I don’t know if those things could be overcome, but any parts that are important enough will work themselves out. It might mean that you live in Arizona and I live in Maryland for a few years, it might mean that it won’t work at all, but from here and now, anything is possible.
You need to concern yourself number one with your children – it will be difficult enough for you to get them away from mom, and there’s probably no way she’d move to be near you every time you relocate. Not that I think you would put anyone else as number one, it’s just that you need to know that I understand this and how difficult this will be when it happens. That’s the beauty of not being a young woman – I get it already. I expect you to put kids first, a young woman might not understand that she’s not first in your life.
Go ahead, be an asshole – I’ll tell you that I think you’re being one and then you can decide what to do about it. You can also tell me that I’m being a bitch and I can decide what I want to do about it. I haven’t seen you be an asshole yet either, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be one, right? Same goes for me being a bitch.
Does this clear any grey area up or does it make more grey area? And you do give me flutters – and the next six months of anticipation does too…while it terrifies me, excites me, makes me wonder about my own sanity, etc. What am I contradicting? Or is it perception?
Q1- If the rule wasn’t there do you think it would even be possible for you to fall…. Consider your wall, the fact that you aren’t extremely comfortable with the age difference, and your lack of trust in other guys.
A1 - I think it would be possible to fall again – I’m counting on falling again. I don’t want to live a life without an appendage, lol. And I really think that everyone is meant to be with someone special. I told you today, I trust everyone – until they give me a good reason not to trust them. And it usually takes more than one or two fuck ups.
Q2 - If I gave you full control over the rules and said do as you truly want, would you change that rule? Would you want me to change it, are you hoping I change it?
A2 - Yes, I would change the rule. Then again, I have so few rules I’d prefer to do away with
any that aren’t absolutely necessary so that way we don’t have to worry about breaking any…
Q3 - The rule is intended to protect you…not me. If I were to change it, what can I put in place to keep you safe from me (my apathy, my assholeness, and just the sheer fact that people fuck up one way or another).
A3 - I don’t want to be safe with you. You’ve already told me that I come first. That’s safe enough for me.
FROM: HIM
Getting excited is one thing. I’m excited about having a friend and a companion. I’m excited that there is someone to talk to and share stupid things as well as deep things with (I get depressed when I’m lonely, then depression turns to apathy)
But this isn’t excitement. Based on what I know about you (meaning that I realize anything could happen) I am beginning to think (that is crap I have been thinking it for about 2 or 3 weeks now) that it would be great falling for you. Even better would be you falling for me as well! I still want you safe. I don’t know what to do. If things go great, and I fall one day, and I say to you that I love you, then by default I have left myself vulnerable. And if the same happens in return then you have also left yourself vulnerable….I don’t want to hurt you, or break that. I don’t know if there is a way I can remove that rule and keep you safe anyway.
My kids are always #1 And you have no idea how much I appreciate your understanding this already. And not only do I understand that your sons are #1 for you, I expect that.
What do you think about all this? I will not remove that rule unless you are on board. If I do this I want to be in agreement.
I am confused about how it is possible to remove all your bricks and after that is done still have you obey that rule (assuming it is in place) You are saying that if I show you that you don’t need to barricade your heart and that it is ok to allow someone to love you and fall for them, then after all that there is no way you’d break that rule? If it were me I’d follow that rule intensely until that person removed that last brick, then I’d fall, and quickly. This is the only part of your response I do not understand.
FROM: HER
I’m saying that given the rules I don’t think you could break the bricks away. Get rid of the rules and let’s just see what happens. Either way – hell, I think it could be a great trip no matter what happens.
I’m going to elaborate more on this, but my family is here and I need to spend some time with them, but I promise to come right back to this as soon as I can. I hope you have a great night – I’ll be dreaming of you, I don’t have any choice in the matter…
FROM: HIM
I am exhausted and I need to go to bed, I will be dreaming of you as well. (Why don’t you have a choice, have I embedded myself in your head already?)
FROM: HER
Yes, I go to bed thinking about you and wake up thinking about you – why wouldn’t you find your way in between those two things? You always do – maybe not exactly how I expect you, but I feel that you are there.
Now, my family has gone home, back to the bricks – I think that’s where I left off…
I have bricks, cinderblocks, etc. I wish I didn’t have them – I think it makes me very cold hearted. It makes me so that I won’t fall in love with M. – and as nice as he is, and even though he does some things that aren’t perfect, he is and has always been nice. I have a hard time with nice – I’ve never fallen in love with nice. I am comfortable with nice, but nice doesn’t make my heart bounce, it doesn’t put any fireworks in my life – nice is just nice. I’ve tried falling for the nice guys – including M. I can’t possibly tell you exactly what M. feels for me – he won’t tell me what he feels for me and I’m no good at guessing. I do know that he likes me – some days I’m not sure why he likes me, but he does.
He has a great time annoying me – little, silly things. He does not cuddle, but he’ll adjust the headlights on my truck, he won’t hold my hand, but he’ll change the fuse so the horn works…tradeoffs. My ideal guy would do both and I wouldn’t have to ask – but at the same time, I wouldn’t expect them to know that the horn is broken unless I said something about it – perfect does not equal telepathic.
I don’t see what the bricks have to do with your rule. If you set a rule, and then you remove the bricks – aren’t you setting me up to not follow the rule? How does that make any sense at all? You want to get through to my heart, but you don’t want me to fall in love with you…talk about contradictions. Okay…how about we don’t worry about bricks or rules or contradictions. How about we keep on talking, learning about each other, keep you from being lonely, keep me horny and wait for you to come back home.
Now, granted, I plan on dying before you just by statistics alone – and if anyone should worry about how much time is left it’s me, so how about we just see where things go from here and deal with things as they happen. I’ll leave my bricks in the warehouse if you leave your rules under your bed.
Oh, and don’t worry about me no matter what happens we’ve been friends for a while and I don’t think that will change.
FROM: HIM
3- Why don’t you want to be safe with me, I don’t understand?
FROM: HER
3. I think you are too hard on yourself. So, you’ve been an asshole before, so what? If you’re going to get rid of the rule, neither of us are “safe.” But isn’t that what it’s all about – if everyone played it safe, we would live in a very boring world. Why do you think I need to be protected, kept safe, from you? Are you going to intentionally do something to hurt me? You say no, but you keep worrying about my safety? What exactly is it you are worried about doing? Hurting my feelings? They’ve been hurt before and I’ve survived…hell, M. hurt my feelings two months ago and we’re surviving. Granted, it’s not ideal, but it’s okay. Then again, it wasn’t ideal before I found out – it was just okay.
I have some hesitations...and it’s a matter of splitting fantasy from reality. I like having fantasies, but it doesn’t mean I want to carry out all of them. There are some that I can easily visualize but know that in reality they are nearly impossible to be as I visualize them…example, Ode to a Trans Am. I’ve always had a fantasy about picking up a complete stranger and screwing them for my pleasure and then leaving. For two simple reasons: one, there’s no commitment; second, I think it would blow a guys mind to have a woman do that to him.
The one that you created with the guys in the bar – I don’t think so. Twenty years ago – maybe, but there’s no way I’d do it today. All I need is one person to know that I’ve done something like this and I’d risk exposing me for a much different person than is known in my pohunk town. Now, maybe in some alternate universe many moons from here – but certainly nowhere near where I think it could ever get back to my home or my children. Now, after my kids are completely grown and on their own – I may rethink these comments and thoughts, but that’s a woman’s prerogative – to change her mind.
Now – that goes back to you, are you fantasy or reality? I hear what you are trying to say and I really believe that this online and over the phone getting to know each other is nice, but we will have to spend face time together to see how much further it can/will/could/should go. Talking to you is fun, it’s so much fun, and it’s a great way for me to spend my day, and it makes me feel great too. I know that if you were 40-50 and said and did these very same things, I would still hesitate and would still be saying the same things. There are so many obstacles from mileage, to kids, to age – so how about we just take a day at a time and see where it goes and what happens?
I hope I got everything. I need to get the shop closed and get out of here. I’ll check in tomorrow and see if this created more questions for you…I hope not, but I’m ready to answer anything you ask. I’ll be in around 1:00 tomorrow afternoon – 9pm your time? But I’m taking the laptop home tonight so I can have it in the morning – I like to spend Sunday mornings in bed with you, even if it’s just reading your emails.
FROM: HIM
Sounds good.
Thinking about it you are right that is contradictory on my part. I guess ideally I would want something like this:
I think it is sad when you say that your ex and your past has shown you how to be cold and put up a wall and not love. I want to change that. That doesn’t mean we will fall in love, that just means I want to show you that there are people out there that won’t hurt you if you fall for them. Therefore I want to remove that wall slowly. If in the process we end up falling for each other then great. My only concern is that if we fall for each other I don’t want to ever hurt you.
So you are absolutely correct. That is contradictory…
How about this, scratch the rule completely. Please be careful if we fall for each other, please let me know how you feel immediately after something turns even slightly negative…that way I can fix it.
Ok so officially that rule is gone then.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Still
As much as my small world has changed, it remains the same.
I still wake up in the morning thinking of you, but don't reach for the laptop to see your words of love and caring.
I still get to work and see your picture on the wall, but I won't move the other papers covering it to see your face.
I still look at the caller ID when the phone rings, but know that it won't be your voice surprising me when I say hello.
I still listen to my messages every morning, but I can't bear to listen or delete yours.
I still think of you during some special songs, but now instead of singing along I change the station.
I still have a smile on my face, but the smile no longer shines in my eyes.
I still count days, but it's the days since our last contact, not the days until you are here.
I still can't wait for the day to end, but not to make time pass - to pass the time.
I still go to sleep thinking about you and wake up in the middle of the night because of you.
I still have an ache in my heart, but I can feel it fading with each passing day.
I still miss you, but missing you is empty.
I still love you, but loving nothing is hard.
I am still.
I still wake up in the morning thinking of you, but don't reach for the laptop to see your words of love and caring.
I still get to work and see your picture on the wall, but I won't move the other papers covering it to see your face.
I still look at the caller ID when the phone rings, but know that it won't be your voice surprising me when I say hello.
I still listen to my messages every morning, but I can't bear to listen or delete yours.
I still think of you during some special songs, but now instead of singing along I change the station.
I still have a smile on my face, but the smile no longer shines in my eyes.
I still count days, but it's the days since our last contact, not the days until you are here.
I still can't wait for the day to end, but not to make time pass - to pass the time.
I still go to sleep thinking about you and wake up in the middle of the night because of you.
I still have an ache in my heart, but I can feel it fading with each passing day.
I still miss you, but missing you is empty.
I still love you, but loving nothing is hard.
I am still.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Pool Room
"Hey gorgeous, we’re heading out tonight. I’ll pick you up at the studio an hour after you close. That should give you plenty of time to get ready” was the only thing he told me when he called earlier in the day. Now, as I’m waiting I’m getting more and more curious. Curious about where my evening will take me and what might be in store for us. Mundane is not in his vocabulary and he keeps me on my toes with his plans. I’d love to know when he has the time to make them all.
I’ve really only known him for six months, six months of many teasing emails, secrets shared, and playing between us. I’m a bit out of his league, according to him. He’s young and I’m afraid that he may have me confused with one of his younger girlfriends. While I love a good time and enjoy a surprise, I really hope he remembers that I’m 25 with 20 years experience and not simply 25.
After six months without, I know he’s ready to burst. So am I. It really makes me wonder why we’re going out at all. I’d much rather we lock ourselves in the house with some fresh fruit and plenty to drink so we can keep up with what we’ve been missing for so long. We can go out tomorrow – let’s stay in tonight…or maybe we could go out next week?
It’s a great, mid-June day – it’s warm with the sun setting in the distance, giving us shades of purple, blue and orange to watch change when we ride. I raided my closet and found a short black skirt that reaches mid-thigh, a little spaghetti strap tank top that shows a little extra cleavage, covered by a white button down men’s dress shirt – sans buttons. My ample breasts are peeking out of the top of my tank as I decide to forego my bra this evening. Underneath the skirt is a white silky thong, he likes white.
The warm breeze surrounds me and my senses are alert to the sound of a motorcycle when I see him gliding around the corner. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a skin tight black wife beater under an open leather jacket. Ummm, as he’s riding closer I can’t help but daydream of his chest and how I want to be pulled into that body with his hands wrapping securely around me. As I try to throw my leg over the back of the bike I realize that my skirt is too tight to allow this so I hike it up so that it barely hugs my smooth, round ass. This time as I throw my leg over I make sure I give a very good view of the thin white material covering my mound.
As we are driving there’s no way to talk, the bike is just too loud. I would love to know where we are going – right now the only acceptable response is a hotel, but no answers are forthcoming as anything more than a hand gesture is not an option.
I so want to squeeze you, to feel your broad shoulders wrap around me and keep me warm. Instead, sitting behind you, I slowly inch my hands down your stomach, trying not to be obvious, but just barely touching you, trying to tease you and make you as frustrated as I am. If I you won’t work with me, I’ll work against you and hopefully get you to pull into the nearest hotel or, hell, you could just pull over right here for all I care.
The exhaust of the bike is torture as it vibrates every time you accelerate. I don’t want to take it anymore, I’ve been waiting for you for so long – I need to touch you just to make sure you know where I stand. I slide my hand down and let you know my intentions this evening.
Your left hand comes off the clutch and driving with one hand you reach down and place it on my bare calf, slowly glancing your way I savor the warm feel of it on my smooth legs. My skin warm to your touch despite the 60 mph wind that is making my nipples stand out strong, pressing through your shirt and jacket.
With my free hand I can feel you growing thick through your jeans, and it’s that thick cock that I crave. Your hand reaches to my knee and continues back to the inside of my thigh. You contort your arm to get the right angle as you slide your fingers under my skirt, ‘so he did take notice’ I think as you apply pressure to my clit through my thong, now wet with my desire for you. You shift into neutral and let the bike cruise pressing me harder with your other hand, then you rev the engine, “Oh my God” I think as I nearly cum from the vibration. You continue to rev the bike, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000 RPMs, I give your prick a good squeeze in my effort to tell you "Fuck me.......NOW!"
Feeling your hard cock ripping through your pants is the last straw, I cum, my fluids leaking through my thong, soaking the thin silk all the way through. Your hand is wet as you pull it back around to your lips and lick your fingers clean one at a time. Seeing this, I can only dream of what I really want your tongue to be doing right now.
He pulls the bike into an old gravel parking lot. It’s a pool hall with a small bar in the back, but it’s closed. He slowly drives the bike around to the back to park when a door opens, held by a gentleman in his mid 50's. "Thanks Pat," he says as he leads me past the door with his hand never leaving the small of my back, "I'll lock up when we're done."
"Anytime," is Pat's only response as he leaves. It looks like we have the place all to ourselves, just me and my familiar stranger. A man who has made you cum so many times before, but who never literally touched me. A man that I’ve thought about while my boyfriend fucked me in every possible position I could think of, just to imagine how it would feel with…with the guy standing in front of me. Now, finally, he's mine. God help this man, he’s going to need it.
He sets up a game of Eight Ball and asks, "Do you prefer your rack tight or loose?" You can only smile at his question. I break. The game begins with casual conversation, how has he been, how have I been, is he settled yet now that he’s back home, how was his flight, typical conversation. Then I realize we have the entire place to ourselves. It’s after normal business hours, the bar, the register, the juke box...everything is here, and as far as I know I’m the only person he knows in the area.
"How’d you pull all this off?" I ask.
"The owner used to live on Long Island. He taught me a lot when I was in high school. If I wasn't working I was at his joint. He’s a nice guy and…this just happened to be convenient. Of course, I’m renting the place and Pat will probably ask some sort of favor, but that’s all right.
I lean down to take a shot. Paying more attention to how far you are bending over to show off my 36” inseam and shapely ass, I miss the short horribly, get up and laugh it off.
“I told you I was horrible."
As I turn around I notice he’s staring straight down. One eyebrow raised and his mouth half open.
"What?" you ask.
“Sorry, I got – um, distracted,” he replied “I thought I saw something glowing in the black light."
"My shirt?" I replied.
"Not quite."
That was when I remembered what I put on under my skirt. Until now I hadn't thought about it at all. I had forgotten that black lights make all things white glow blue. I smiled, my skirt must be shorter than I had realized. He takes his shot and sinks another.
"You do realize that you’re supposed to let me win, right?" I said.
"Do you want to be here all night?" He pokes fun at me.
"Well, the thought has crossed my mind.”
"You’re doing fine. You just need a little help” he said as he pocketed the three ball.
Sliding in behind me he wrapped his arms gently around me, holding his hand against my stomach. His touch is soft, almost caressing as he places his hands over mine and takes hold of the cue. Together, leaning down, I can feel his body pressing comfortably into mine. I line up the shot and as I press back I can feel him growing again. He is getting hard against my thigh. Not wanting him to focus on anything else, I push my ass back to him and begin to grind against him. I realigned the shot several times I sink the nine ball, as a thank you I slid my ass up and down his cock one more time, just in case he had any question about my intentions.
My playing begins to get a little better and soon I am winning. I’m sure he’s letting me and as a reward I make sure that every shot I take includes a tease for him. Whether he is behind me or standing in front of me, I’ll wiggle my ass a little or I’ll bend down just low enough to show a bit of cleavage and then look seductively into his eyes. I want him to need me tonight. I can tell by his gaze that I’m driving him insane. He’s told me so many times that he loves my eyes and I use them every chance I get.
I ask, "How long can you hold out before you give in?"
"I bet I can distract you," he says.
"Oh, you do distract me. But, I seem to be winning. I think it is you who is distracted."
"That maybe true, but fair is fair. Let’s even the stakes. I'll bet I can make you miss your next shot."
"What do I get if you lose?"
"Well, what would you like if you win?"
"We'll see," I say not letting him turn the tables.
He walks around the table and as I bend over to take my shot, I feel his hand sliding up my skirt. No stroking your legs this time, he wanted to surprise you. He begins rubbing his fingers in circles over my thong. I’m still wet from earlier, but want him so badly that I know this can’t go on much longer. I take the shot.
“Looks like you owe me...Come here and take out your cock."
As he obediently leans against the pool table I tell him, "I want three things from you."
"I thought we had one bet going?"
"I don't think you'll be complaining,” I tell him as I bend over and take his cock in my mouth. It is such a turn on, having him in my mouth. Filling my mouth, his taste finally hitting my tongue after such a long, distant wait. And while I’m not one to keep notes, he’s not the longest I can recall, but he’s thick and filling in my mouth. He tastes surprisingly sweeter than I had expected. I slowly dip my head down; confident I can take this all the way to the hilt. I feel the pressure in the back of my neck rising, but I relax my jaw and his cock glides right down my throat, muffled moans of oh, God, coming from above me. On my way back up I licked the tip of his cock lightly to taste his creamy precum. I’m not down for a minute before I come back up again.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve been doing to me all night? No, wait – for the last six months? The second thing I want from you is for you to fuck me, fuck me hard and fuck me now.” It must have been what he wanted to hear, as all I could think was “good boy” as he positioned himself behind me and bent me over the pool table. In the same position I’d been shooting pool all night, he was posed behind me turning my tease into satisfaction. I hiked my ass into the air to tease him and then spread my legs far apart leaving no doubt as to where I wanted his thick, hard cock. My slick thong showing through my skirt, he couldn’t tease me any longer. He shoved my panties to the side and slid his hard cock into my hot, wet pussy.
Fucking me exactly like I asked – needing him so badly that I didn’t care about how came in, what I was or wasn’t wearing, all I knew is that I needed him like I had never needed another man. Whether it was months of teasing, pheromones, flirtatious pleasures – I didn’t care why, I just knew it had to be him and no one else would be able to fuck me to satisfaction but him, right now. I felt like an animal, in a very good way. As he would say, a cougar hunting her prey. And what a catch, he fucks so good. His hands slide up the back of my legs, over my thighs, under my skirt, slowly over my ass…ever so slowly, savoring every moment.
He grabs my hips and drives deep into me, "Oh yeah," I hear him say. I spread my legs wider, trying to get him deeper inside me; I want every inch of his dick inside me. He seems to understand my need and gently pulls my wrists behind my back, pulling me hard as he fucks me from behind. He moans, but I don’t want him to cum yet – I stop before he can release inside me. I’m not done baby, I want this to last a very long time.
I climb onto the pool table and clear an area to lie on. Crawling slowly and seductively away from him, knowing that his eyes are glued to my body, knowing that he needs me as much as I need him and knowing how he desires me just by the look in his eyes and the smile on his lips. I roll over onto my back and give him a “come here” motion with my finger. He climbs onto the table over me and waits for my directions. I have no intention of waiting for him. I slowly scratch down his chest with my nails leaving a trail from his neck down, to his shoulders, across his chest, down to his stomach, stopping for just a moment to swirl around his belly button before grasping his dick and using it as my own personal dildo.
Um, rubbing the head of his cock back and forth on my clit almost makes me cum on his head, but I pull him in and he begins to move with me. Guiding him where I want him he starts slowly, building in speed and pressure until soon I’m begging him to fuck me harder. He doesn’t hesitate as he sits up with my legs over his shoulders, my back arching toward him to get him deeper inside me, his thick cock gliding easily in and out of my soaked pussy. I want him to use me, I want him to make me cum, please make me cum, please, and it’s working. The angle is perfect, he’s hitting spots I didn’t know I had or I had forgotten. The only sounds I can get out of my mouth are moans of ecstasy. Grabbing my legs from his shoulders he pulls my knees together and hugs them to his chest while the heels of my feet sit at his hips. Using my knees as a fulcrum he fucks me, pulling me back and forth to him, slamming our bodies together, thrusting me onto his cock over and over.
“Um, don’t stop,…don’t stop… oh, God.” Sweat is running from his body, dripping down his chest. The sight of him all sweat, cum and man triggers something making me beg him to fuck me harder. I am completely his, completely, wonderfully his, as long as he doesn’t stop. I scream as pure lust takes over and I orgasm all over him, squirts of my cum hitting onto his already wet chest like a fountain, but he doesn’t stop.
“Good boy. Don’t stop – please don’t stop, keep going. Yeah, fuck me, baby, please fuck me harder.” My begging triggers his orgasm as I see his eyes roll back and he tries to maintain his balance and continue fucking me.
“You know the third thing I want?” I say to him just before I know he’s going to cum knowing that he won’t be able to do more than grunt or moan. “I want you to cum down my throat, baby. Let me taste your creamy load. Please give it to me baby, please. Right now, baby.” Pleading with him, looking at him seductively batting my eyes…He pulls out and turns. I grab his cock in your hand and slide it down my throat, bobbing my head back and forth all the way to the bottom I feel him squirt the back of my tongue, then all the way back up I hold his thick cock above my face glazing my lips with his seed, keeping my mouth open so he can see every drop, every spasm as it squirts.
When he can cum no more, I use his cock head to smear his cream from my cheeks into my mouth. Looking at him from under his cock I swirl my tongue around his head while I squeeze him from the base of his shaft up to get every last drop, not wanting any of it to go to waste.
Staring into his eyes, I open my mouth and show him how good I am, my mouth full and playing in him. Hmmmm, I moan as I swallow his load except for a small bit that I use my fingers to slide all over my lips before licking them clean.
(Rewritten with his permission by me.)
I’ve really only known him for six months, six months of many teasing emails, secrets shared, and playing between us. I’m a bit out of his league, according to him. He’s young and I’m afraid that he may have me confused with one of his younger girlfriends. While I love a good time and enjoy a surprise, I really hope he remembers that I’m 25 with 20 years experience and not simply 25.
After six months without, I know he’s ready to burst. So am I. It really makes me wonder why we’re going out at all. I’d much rather we lock ourselves in the house with some fresh fruit and plenty to drink so we can keep up with what we’ve been missing for so long. We can go out tomorrow – let’s stay in tonight…or maybe we could go out next week?
It’s a great, mid-June day – it’s warm with the sun setting in the distance, giving us shades of purple, blue and orange to watch change when we ride. I raided my closet and found a short black skirt that reaches mid-thigh, a little spaghetti strap tank top that shows a little extra cleavage, covered by a white button down men’s dress shirt – sans buttons. My ample breasts are peeking out of the top of my tank as I decide to forego my bra this evening. Underneath the skirt is a white silky thong, he likes white.
The warm breeze surrounds me and my senses are alert to the sound of a motorcycle when I see him gliding around the corner. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a skin tight black wife beater under an open leather jacket. Ummm, as he’s riding closer I can’t help but daydream of his chest and how I want to be pulled into that body with his hands wrapping securely around me. As I try to throw my leg over the back of the bike I realize that my skirt is too tight to allow this so I hike it up so that it barely hugs my smooth, round ass. This time as I throw my leg over I make sure I give a very good view of the thin white material covering my mound.
As we are driving there’s no way to talk, the bike is just too loud. I would love to know where we are going – right now the only acceptable response is a hotel, but no answers are forthcoming as anything more than a hand gesture is not an option.
I so want to squeeze you, to feel your broad shoulders wrap around me and keep me warm. Instead, sitting behind you, I slowly inch my hands down your stomach, trying not to be obvious, but just barely touching you, trying to tease you and make you as frustrated as I am. If I you won’t work with me, I’ll work against you and hopefully get you to pull into the nearest hotel or, hell, you could just pull over right here for all I care.
The exhaust of the bike is torture as it vibrates every time you accelerate. I don’t want to take it anymore, I’ve been waiting for you for so long – I need to touch you just to make sure you know where I stand. I slide my hand down and let you know my intentions this evening.
Your left hand comes off the clutch and driving with one hand you reach down and place it on my bare calf, slowly glancing your way I savor the warm feel of it on my smooth legs. My skin warm to your touch despite the 60 mph wind that is making my nipples stand out strong, pressing through your shirt and jacket.
With my free hand I can feel you growing thick through your jeans, and it’s that thick cock that I crave. Your hand reaches to my knee and continues back to the inside of my thigh. You contort your arm to get the right angle as you slide your fingers under my skirt, ‘so he did take notice’ I think as you apply pressure to my clit through my thong, now wet with my desire for you. You shift into neutral and let the bike cruise pressing me harder with your other hand, then you rev the engine, “Oh my God” I think as I nearly cum from the vibration. You continue to rev the bike, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000 RPMs, I give your prick a good squeeze in my effort to tell you "Fuck me.......NOW!"
Feeling your hard cock ripping through your pants is the last straw, I cum, my fluids leaking through my thong, soaking the thin silk all the way through. Your hand is wet as you pull it back around to your lips and lick your fingers clean one at a time. Seeing this, I can only dream of what I really want your tongue to be doing right now.
He pulls the bike into an old gravel parking lot. It’s a pool hall with a small bar in the back, but it’s closed. He slowly drives the bike around to the back to park when a door opens, held by a gentleman in his mid 50's. "Thanks Pat," he says as he leads me past the door with his hand never leaving the small of my back, "I'll lock up when we're done."
"Anytime," is Pat's only response as he leaves. It looks like we have the place all to ourselves, just me and my familiar stranger. A man who has made you cum so many times before, but who never literally touched me. A man that I’ve thought about while my boyfriend fucked me in every possible position I could think of, just to imagine how it would feel with…with the guy standing in front of me. Now, finally, he's mine. God help this man, he’s going to need it.
He sets up a game of Eight Ball and asks, "Do you prefer your rack tight or loose?" You can only smile at his question. I break. The game begins with casual conversation, how has he been, how have I been, is he settled yet now that he’s back home, how was his flight, typical conversation. Then I realize we have the entire place to ourselves. It’s after normal business hours, the bar, the register, the juke box...everything is here, and as far as I know I’m the only person he knows in the area.
"How’d you pull all this off?" I ask.
"The owner used to live on Long Island. He taught me a lot when I was in high school. If I wasn't working I was at his joint. He’s a nice guy and…this just happened to be convenient. Of course, I’m renting the place and Pat will probably ask some sort of favor, but that’s all right.
I lean down to take a shot. Paying more attention to how far you are bending over to show off my 36” inseam and shapely ass, I miss the short horribly, get up and laugh it off.
“I told you I was horrible."
As I turn around I notice he’s staring straight down. One eyebrow raised and his mouth half open.
"What?" you ask.
“Sorry, I got – um, distracted,” he replied “I thought I saw something glowing in the black light."
"My shirt?" I replied.
"Not quite."
That was when I remembered what I put on under my skirt. Until now I hadn't thought about it at all. I had forgotten that black lights make all things white glow blue. I smiled, my skirt must be shorter than I had realized. He takes his shot and sinks another.
"You do realize that you’re supposed to let me win, right?" I said.
"Do you want to be here all night?" He pokes fun at me.
"Well, the thought has crossed my mind.”
"You’re doing fine. You just need a little help” he said as he pocketed the three ball.
Sliding in behind me he wrapped his arms gently around me, holding his hand against my stomach. His touch is soft, almost caressing as he places his hands over mine and takes hold of the cue. Together, leaning down, I can feel his body pressing comfortably into mine. I line up the shot and as I press back I can feel him growing again. He is getting hard against my thigh. Not wanting him to focus on anything else, I push my ass back to him and begin to grind against him. I realigned the shot several times I sink the nine ball, as a thank you I slid my ass up and down his cock one more time, just in case he had any question about my intentions.
My playing begins to get a little better and soon I am winning. I’m sure he’s letting me and as a reward I make sure that every shot I take includes a tease for him. Whether he is behind me or standing in front of me, I’ll wiggle my ass a little or I’ll bend down just low enough to show a bit of cleavage and then look seductively into his eyes. I want him to need me tonight. I can tell by his gaze that I’m driving him insane. He’s told me so many times that he loves my eyes and I use them every chance I get.
I ask, "How long can you hold out before you give in?"
"I bet I can distract you," he says.
"Oh, you do distract me. But, I seem to be winning. I think it is you who is distracted."
"That maybe true, but fair is fair. Let’s even the stakes. I'll bet I can make you miss your next shot."
"What do I get if you lose?"
"Well, what would you like if you win?"
"We'll see," I say not letting him turn the tables.
He walks around the table and as I bend over to take my shot, I feel his hand sliding up my skirt. No stroking your legs this time, he wanted to surprise you. He begins rubbing his fingers in circles over my thong. I’m still wet from earlier, but want him so badly that I know this can’t go on much longer. I take the shot.
“Looks like you owe me...Come here and take out your cock."
As he obediently leans against the pool table I tell him, "I want three things from you."
"I thought we had one bet going?"
"I don't think you'll be complaining,” I tell him as I bend over and take his cock in my mouth. It is such a turn on, having him in my mouth. Filling my mouth, his taste finally hitting my tongue after such a long, distant wait. And while I’m not one to keep notes, he’s not the longest I can recall, but he’s thick and filling in my mouth. He tastes surprisingly sweeter than I had expected. I slowly dip my head down; confident I can take this all the way to the hilt. I feel the pressure in the back of my neck rising, but I relax my jaw and his cock glides right down my throat, muffled moans of oh, God, coming from above me. On my way back up I licked the tip of his cock lightly to taste his creamy precum. I’m not down for a minute before I come back up again.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve been doing to me all night? No, wait – for the last six months? The second thing I want from you is for you to fuck me, fuck me hard and fuck me now.” It must have been what he wanted to hear, as all I could think was “good boy” as he positioned himself behind me and bent me over the pool table. In the same position I’d been shooting pool all night, he was posed behind me turning my tease into satisfaction. I hiked my ass into the air to tease him and then spread my legs far apart leaving no doubt as to where I wanted his thick, hard cock. My slick thong showing through my skirt, he couldn’t tease me any longer. He shoved my panties to the side and slid his hard cock into my hot, wet pussy.
Fucking me exactly like I asked – needing him so badly that I didn’t care about how came in, what I was or wasn’t wearing, all I knew is that I needed him like I had never needed another man. Whether it was months of teasing, pheromones, flirtatious pleasures – I didn’t care why, I just knew it had to be him and no one else would be able to fuck me to satisfaction but him, right now. I felt like an animal, in a very good way. As he would say, a cougar hunting her prey. And what a catch, he fucks so good. His hands slide up the back of my legs, over my thighs, under my skirt, slowly over my ass…ever so slowly, savoring every moment.
He grabs my hips and drives deep into me, "Oh yeah," I hear him say. I spread my legs wider, trying to get him deeper inside me; I want every inch of his dick inside me. He seems to understand my need and gently pulls my wrists behind my back, pulling me hard as he fucks me from behind. He moans, but I don’t want him to cum yet – I stop before he can release inside me. I’m not done baby, I want this to last a very long time.
I climb onto the pool table and clear an area to lie on. Crawling slowly and seductively away from him, knowing that his eyes are glued to my body, knowing that he needs me as much as I need him and knowing how he desires me just by the look in his eyes and the smile on his lips. I roll over onto my back and give him a “come here” motion with my finger. He climbs onto the table over me and waits for my directions. I have no intention of waiting for him. I slowly scratch down his chest with my nails leaving a trail from his neck down, to his shoulders, across his chest, down to his stomach, stopping for just a moment to swirl around his belly button before grasping his dick and using it as my own personal dildo.
Um, rubbing the head of his cock back and forth on my clit almost makes me cum on his head, but I pull him in and he begins to move with me. Guiding him where I want him he starts slowly, building in speed and pressure until soon I’m begging him to fuck me harder. He doesn’t hesitate as he sits up with my legs over his shoulders, my back arching toward him to get him deeper inside me, his thick cock gliding easily in and out of my soaked pussy. I want him to use me, I want him to make me cum, please make me cum, please, and it’s working. The angle is perfect, he’s hitting spots I didn’t know I had or I had forgotten. The only sounds I can get out of my mouth are moans of ecstasy. Grabbing my legs from his shoulders he pulls my knees together and hugs them to his chest while the heels of my feet sit at his hips. Using my knees as a fulcrum he fucks me, pulling me back and forth to him, slamming our bodies together, thrusting me onto his cock over and over.
“Um, don’t stop,…don’t stop… oh, God.” Sweat is running from his body, dripping down his chest. The sight of him all sweat, cum and man triggers something making me beg him to fuck me harder. I am completely his, completely, wonderfully his, as long as he doesn’t stop. I scream as pure lust takes over and I orgasm all over him, squirts of my cum hitting onto his already wet chest like a fountain, but he doesn’t stop.
“Good boy. Don’t stop – please don’t stop, keep going. Yeah, fuck me, baby, please fuck me harder.” My begging triggers his orgasm as I see his eyes roll back and he tries to maintain his balance and continue fucking me.
“You know the third thing I want?” I say to him just before I know he’s going to cum knowing that he won’t be able to do more than grunt or moan. “I want you to cum down my throat, baby. Let me taste your creamy load. Please give it to me baby, please. Right now, baby.” Pleading with him, looking at him seductively batting my eyes…He pulls out and turns. I grab his cock in your hand and slide it down my throat, bobbing my head back and forth all the way to the bottom I feel him squirt the back of my tongue, then all the way back up I hold his thick cock above my face glazing my lips with his seed, keeping my mouth open so he can see every drop, every spasm as it squirts.
When he can cum no more, I use his cock head to smear his cream from my cheeks into my mouth. Looking at him from under his cock I swirl my tongue around his head while I squeeze him from the base of his shaft up to get every last drop, not wanting any of it to go to waste.
Staring into his eyes, I open my mouth and show him how good I am, my mouth full and playing in him. Hmmmm, I moan as I swallow his load except for a small bit that I use my fingers to slide all over my lips before licking them clean.
(Rewritten with his permission by me.)
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